Why Marriage is like Being Candidates from Two Different Political Parties

I suppose that most relationships can use this same analogy but even greater a new marriage. It's like two candidates of different political parties.

I know, I know, You are thinking that I have Election 2008 overload, and you are probably right, but it doesn't make the analogy any less true. You have two people who have come from two different backgrounds, have had life write two different histories on their minds and hearts, which all of this in essence affects their perspective and world view.

A common disagreement among the married people is money. How to spend it, how to save it, what to do with extra, how to budget it, and so on down the line. Well, like living in the United States, in times of prosperity when every one is working, the housing market is up, gas prices are low, and people are making money hand over fist-- there is little to no discrepancies. And at that time, few people even mention the apparent difference in how they see how money should be handled. But when times get rough, there is an economic slowdown, the unemployment rate is up, gas prices are high, foreclosures are on the horizon, and money is slow to come in and even quicker leaving-- that's when the claws come out and the "party lines" are drawn.

Both people have two distinctly different ideas about how they got into the situation, and there is an even greater divide about the method of getting out. One person believes that they got into this mess because of overspending in times of prosperity and therefore the budget needs to be cut and the money managed better. The other side believes that there was not really any overspending in times of prosperity, but that there was no proper planning for an economic downturn and believes that we need to bring more money into the economy rather than focus so much on cutting the budget and spending. It's back and forth finger pointing. Those types of differences of how each party sees the world and their ideology on how and why things work are core, deep embedded issues and therefore it makes it difficult for each party to be open-minded to the other.

They try to get together to calmly talk over the issues, but then both sides are eagerly trying to push their own agenda rather than meeting on common ground. They tend to magnify the differences instead of recognizing that they both want the same things. And because both parties are hurting and are craving a solution-- not having their side heard frustrates them. The calm meeting turns into a debate, the debate then turns ugly with name-calling. The next thing they know they are arguing in public with little regard for those people around them. They don't even care that they can hear their mud-slinging and just would rather they reach a solution than hear the bickering. They want the parties to stick to the issues. They make no progress because they've lost sight of what's important.

When the real issue is that what both sides want is for it to be united on the home-front. Both parties want to go back to the time of prosperity and when things were well. They've forgotten the days when they used to reach across the aisle. The solution to the difference is for at least one of the parties, just one of them, to reach across the aisle and to be open to the solution of the other. And when somebody plays the role of the peace-maker, willing to be a little more accommodating-- the other side will make room for some suggestions as well. They realize that both sides were right in a sense, yes there was a small bit of overspending, and yes it can't hurt to cut and manage the budget, and yes there was no proper planning for an economic downturn, and of course it's never a bad idea to bring more money into the economy. Now it's just time to make it work.

So whenever in your relationship and especially marriage, you have to figure out how to make a problem in the relationship work-- reach across the aisle. Remember that in a general sense both parties want things to be better. Remember that you can get more things done together than apart. You may be from two different parties but ultimately you want a great union.