Why Marry When You Can Shack Up?

The average rate of divorce for people under 30 is about 1 in 3 (http://www.divorcerate.org/). But, being that 30 is the new 15, more Americans aren't deciding to "tie the knot" until their late twenties to early thirties. With these figures, the outlook on the ultimate commitment seems bleak at most. Could this be the reason more and more people are deciding to "shack" indefinitely?

Shack (verb) -

A) to live together as husband and wife without being legally married. (http://www.dictionary.com)

During various conversations on the issue, with many different people/couples, I have found this: Your average person feels that the term "marriage" is just another word, and the term "shacking" is an insult. Why is that? When posed the question: "What is the difference between just living together and getting married?" the answer has been "nothing", in the majority of cases. I can see the logic. If you live like you are married, act like you are married, and say that you are married, what IS the difference? In my opinion, the difference is simply commitment. It is easy to have one foot in and on foot out of the door. It is, however, much harder to be truly committed to something and then have it fall to pieces even though you've done all you can to keep it together. You break up, and you can say you told no lies. You made no promises that you didn't keep. The tax breaks are great, and let's be honest, it makes you feel that much more adult to have a relationship "strong" enough to be living together. But, is it really that strong? No, it isn't, and that's why they take it as an insult. They feel guilty, and they should.

Tradition dictates that you meet, you date, you fall in love, and then you get married. That's a pretty clear-cut course of action. What about all of the other variables to the equation? What if you meet and you date, but the other person (or even yourself) has a child from a previous relationship? What if the other person has already been married before and has unsettling feelings about the subject? What if you are still married? All of these questions, and infinitely more, compile a database of excuses people use to "dodge the bullet", yet they still agree to move in together. These same individuals are willing to share roofs, finances, bills, and burdens. But, they are not "ready" for marriage.

As a committed man that married young, it doesn't make much sense to me. I met a girl, we dated, we fell in love, and then we got married. That part was simple. The hard part has been keeping it healthy and staying with it, even when I didn't want to. There is no "I" in team. Perhaps, that is the reason so many people are waiting to jump the broom. Until you actually say "I do" you are independent. Free to do as you choose without any real regard as to how it affects your mate. Divorces can get very ugly. Who gets the house? Who keeps the dog? How often do you get to see the kids? ALIMONY!?! These additional variables are, understandably, deterrents. The bottoms line still is, though: If you live like you are married, act like you are married, and say you "might as well be married" - then get married. Otherwise, you are not being honest with yourself, your partner, or those around you.

Please, and thank you.