Why Marrying for Love May Not Be Enough

There are many reasons, why people get married and one of the top 5 is "love". I hope that you would get married to the person you love, for your own mental health and his or hers, but is getting married for love enough? Before you go the final step, please consider these Issues very carefully.

Are you both played out yet?
This sounds really horrible, I know, but it is a very solid question to ask your-self. If the guy or in some cases the female is not done sewing their oats and can not be faithful in the end your marriage is doomed to heartache unless you both are planning on being Swingers. If that is the case you need to be honest and open about that before you get married and have kids. The Swingers lifestyle is not for everyone and some should not be Swingers to begin with. If you both agree to have multiple sexual Partners you may want to get fixed first and make sure you have STD Tests done regularly. Sounds harsh? Not at all, condoms and other contraceptives can fail and unless you want to be unsure of the potential child's parentage or take the risk of contracting an STD or Aids and passing it along you need to take extreme precautions. You can do whatever you both want in your Relationship, but you have to take responsibility for your actions.

Are you sexually compatible?
Believe it or not this does make a difference in a young marriage, once you get older it may not be so important, but to most people a healthy sexual relationship can make or break the marriage. Do either of you have kinky tendencies the other is not aware of? If you have a Porn addiction, have fetishes, are into BDSM or other such things you owe it to your future Spouse to let them know ahead of time. Are your about the same in sexual urges? These are all things you need to discuss ahead of time.

Do you have the same spiritual believes?
In the long run that will become very important. Latest when kids are on the way or you get older. Sooner or later, everyone returns to their own path. Make sure you are the same religion or at least compatible. Christians and Satanists should not marry! A Catholic and a Jew may not be the smartest match. You get the point.

Are you both willing to have kids and are you both able?
Please, please discuss this ahead of time and be honest. If one of you wants children and the other don't you should not get married to each other! This will spell major trouble in the end.

Are you both going to work or is one staying home and if yes who?
Are you both financially secured? Can you make ends meet? Who is the primary provider? How are bills going to be handled? All those things need to be discussed ahead of time. Are you willing to stay the long run? What is each of your goals and are you willing to support each others dreams? Are you done with schooling?

Where will you live?
Let me tell you right now, living with a Parent is not a good option. If you can not afford your own household you should not get married. If you are living under your parent's roof still you can not be considered an Adult. Sorry. No if you have an elderly Parent that is living with you, that is a different story and in that case you need to openly discuss that as well. Where will you live? Location is important. Can you agree on a location? Can you afford to have a household?

Family and Friends, going out separately etc.
Yup that too needs to be discussed ahead of time. If he or she is a Mama's boy or girl that can spell disaster. Once you get married your first priority is to your new spouse and later to your own kids. Are you going to allow each other to go out alone or will you do things purely together? What about other people in the house when your partner is gone?
Sounds stupid? Not at all that all goes under Relationship Dynamics.

Who will have the say over what?
Another Marriage dynamic issue is who will have the say over what. Is one the head of the house or are you both sharing each detail. Is one over lets say purchases of electronics and the other over household purchases. Who is in charge of the bills? Who controls the money? Are you going discuss major purchases with each other or do you each have your own money?

Are your spending habits compatible?
If one is a bargain shopper and the other the queen or king of luxury spending you will have a problem. If one trips out if he or she has only $1.00 in the Bank and the other thinks that being broke means less then $1000.00 in the Wallet you have a problem. If one is a good Stewart of money and has an easy time saving while the others idea of saving is the 50 cent off coupon while spending pennies he or she doesn't even have yet, we have an issue.

With other words, love will change, grow or grow cold. You will change; you will get older, get hopefully wiser. You can have a wonderful marriage or you can have a disaster. Loving someone right now, does not guarantee you a good marriage later. You should never get married before you know that other person for at least 2 - 3 years. Against all moral reason, I even suggest you live together for a couple of years first, just please make sure you don't have a Baby. And you should do that with the understanding that if this works out well you will get married. My Master and I leaved together for 5 Years before we got married. By that point we had already had dealt with a lot of issues, have grown out of the "in love" stage and gone on to being comfortable with each other. Seen each others worst sides and still wanted to be with each other. That doesn't mean we will never fight or have Issues, we do just like every other couple, but we went into the marriage better equipped for knowing what we where up against to begin with.

A warning to the wise however. Ladies, please don't get used. There are tons of guys out there that promise you the sky to get what they want from you, your body in bed. Make sure that if you live with a guy first you know the score. Don't become an unpaid W&^re.

Gentleman, please marry wisely. Ask yourself first if this is the lady you want raising your children or if you are just in lust with her pretty behind. Make very certain that you love her mind as well as her body. Her body will go to hell eventually that is part of getting older.

Most of all be who you are from the beginning. Don't pretend to be something you are not, that is entrapment and should be a deal breaker. Remember that marriage is a Partnership and that the marriage license really is a contract you both signed to uphold each end of the bargain. Don't do that lightly. Divorces are not only costly, but damage your heart, mind and soul as well as that of your families involved.

I make a personal joke in my house, I am my Owners Property and I have the contracts to prove it. (Slave contract and marriage license) and he is responsible for his property. You may not feel about it this way and in some of your cases you may even be upset about this statement, but one thing is the same. You are responsible for each other from the moment you sign that contract. You are responsible to love, honor and obey, to protect, cherish and respect each other. To take care of each other in good times and in bad. That means too that you will not give up just as soon as things get a bit tougher, or walk off just because it isn't fun anymore.

A final thought, nothing is ever perfect in life. But you should at least be able to say that you are content 80 % of the time with your partner. If you can't say that, get out before you take that finals step.