Why Men Cheat and How to Protect Your Relationship Part 3

So now the question is what to do to keep your relationship safe. People today are busy and there are very few stay at home moms as the economy is stretched thin. Even with the busy schedules of couples today, there are ways to make time for one another. Here are some ways you can safeguard your relationship from one partner straying.

Pay Attention to Your Relationship

This may seem like a very ordinary statement but understand the meaning behind it. This means not only paying attention to your spouse or significant other, but give the relationship the attention it needs. Do not stop being lovers just because you are married or living together. Make time for each other and plan activities to spend time together. Keep things alive in the bedroom by trying new ideas or techniques.

The biggest reason that most relationships and marriages fall apart is due to one or the other growing apart. People say that their husband or wife changed once they got married or moved in together. They stopped taking care of themselves, cooking or keeping house and sex is practically non-existent. It is easy to fall into a rut during hard times but once it takes over your life, there is not much left to the relationship.

Start With the Basics:

Food

Many women do not have the time to cook family meals everyday. One way to have food available is to cook extra meals and freeze them for busy days. Purchase a crock pot and cook while you do other things. Not all women feel they are great cooks, for this reason there are cook books, take out and deli food. Most grocery stores carry cold deli items like fried chicken and potato salad as well as frozen lasagna and enchiladas.

Shelter

This could fall under the category of security. This means not only having a clean house but feeling secure in his home. Do not let jealousy ruin a good relationship by looking for things that are not there. His cell phone, his email and the content of his pockets are his business. Trust is something that is built over time. If he feels that you trust him he will share everything with you. Do not make accusations without proof, this one will drive a man away quicker than anything else. Let him have his freedom and do not demand to know where he is and what he is doing every minute of the day. He is a grown man capable of taking care of himself and this makes you look desperate and controlling.

Love and Appreciation

Also could mean emotional support. Love is not only something you feel but you must express it to one another. Do little things to help him or make his life easier. It is not about saying it but showing it. What were some of the things you used to do for each other before you got married? Think back and try to remember some ways to put the life back into your relationship. Arrange to have an evening out once a week. Even if it is just dinner and a movie, or staying in with popcorn and a dvd make time for you to be a couple. Take the time and talk about things that matter to him, he needs friendship and someone who is willing to listen to his problems.

Sex

Sex is a very important part of a relationship whether you want to admit it or not. Open yourself up to new possibilities when it comes to sex. Variety is what keeps things fresh and exciting. Buy some nice lingerie if you do not have any, rent some seductive videos for the two of you to watch together like "9 and 1/2 Weeks", "Sliver", "Wild Things" or "Original Sin". If you have an adventurous streak he may appreciate a little dress up role play with costumes and candles. Try some new things and go with what feels natural. Keep it fun and playful but don't stress yourself out tying too hard. He will appreciate the effort you make to please him. Remember it is the little things you do that speak volumes to the heart.

Talk About It

Communication is another thing that is necessary to the success of a relationship. People who do not communicate well often seek companionship outside of the relationship. This could be a coworker that he has a good rapport with or a female friend who he feels comfortable sharing with. He needs to feel that you are his best friend and he can talk to you about anything without fear of judgment or retaliation. Agree to be honest and ask if there is anything he wishes was different in the relationship, anything he is missing or lacking. Be ready to hear things that may hurt your feelings, this is the hard part about being totally honest.

What if he Reveals That He is Cheating?

The relationships that survive this are ones where the women is strong enough to take responsibility for herself and decide what she is willing to accept. Do not act as though it didn't happen, talk about it honestly and decide if the relationship is worth keeping. Try to see the reason behind what he did. Set your expectations and make an agreement to change things. You do not need to know how many times, or who it is, or etc, etc. Once it is out in the open, do not ever bring it up again. Deal with it and let it go. Take it from there and go forward.

Resources:

http://www.drozfans.com/dr-ozs-advice/dr-oz-the-science-of-why-men-cheat/
http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/Why-Do-Men-Cheat
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23575221/ns/today-today_people/
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Affair-Proof-Your-Marriage