Why Men Cheat: Saving Your Marriage from Infidelity

Over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. One of the biggest reasons for divorce is infidelity. Both men and women cheat, but the reasons that men cheat may be closer to the same reasons that women cheat than we actually realize. Most often women assume the cheating was about the sex. Women believe that they have lost their sparkle, the other woman was younger or more attractive, or the man simply saw the opportunity and took it because it is in his human nature, but in most cases none of those things are the reason.

Most men cheat because there is a loss of emotional attachment in the relationship. Men like competition, and they like to be needed. When they begin to lose that identity in the relationship, they tend to wander. Stress from work, kids, and money can leave men feeling inadequate. They share these problems with their wives, thereby connecting her in his mind to these problems. The cheating can be a way of detaching himself from the things in life that he feels he is failing at. In many cases, it is the man's own insecurities that drive him to have an affair.

So often women believe the man cheated because the other woman was more attractive. In most cases it has more to do with the way she acts than the way she looks. Stresses of life can cause couples to drift away from each other and become unappreciative. If a man feels like he is not needed or even wanted at home he will be more open to taking attention from another woman. In the beginning all relationships are fresh and exciting, you just can't seem to get enough of each other. If he isn't feeling that at home, but another woman is making him feel that way again he will most likely return the affection.

There are some things that can be done to prevent infidelity in a relationship. First of all, if you are seeing signs that there might be a problem such as a strange new schedule, lack of sex, or a sense of avoidance do not ignore that feeling in your stomach that tells you something is wrong. Do a little research if you can or if you are feeling really confident address him directly. Less than 10 percent of men will admit to having an affair without being confronted by their wives. Don't jump to conclusions though, the signs that a man is cheating are the same signs that he is about to cheat and hasn't yet.

Be sure to show appreciation for everything he does, even the small stuff. Try to focus on what he is doing right instead of constantly pointing out what he is doing wrong. He signed on to be your partner in life, not your employee. Remember chances are he hasn't changed his actions much since you met, its your view of them that has changed. What used to be charming is now annoying, but if you constantly point it out to him he will find someone else that finds him charming.

Finally, even though men say it isn't really about sex in some ways it is. Not about what you look like in bed or whether you spice it up enough, but how often you have it. Men are driven by sex and it really is a bonding experience for them. Without it, they will feel unattached to you. And to have you initiate sex makes them feel wanted. Imagine how you would feel if he never came to you and wanted to have sex. Why should it feel any different for him?

It may sound like women should take all the blame when a man cheats, but that is not true. A man must take responsibility for his actions. And let's face there are some men out there that are just plain irresponsible and pay little attention to the promises made when they said their vowels. But relationships take effort from both sides to make them work and if infidelity is a big reason that they fail then both sides need to evaluate what is causing this epidemic. It is the responsibility of the man and the woman both to put every effort into making a relationship that will last through any test, trial, or temptation.