Why Nobody Goes to the Movies Anymore

Lately, it seems that there are less and less people going to the movies. More and more often, people are simply waiting for the DVD to come out so they can buy it and watch it at home. Here are a few logical reasons why you should do the same.

Have you noticed the price of going to the movie theater lately? Unless you go to a dollar theater, which won't have the same, broad choice of new movies that most movie-goers want to see, you're going to end up paying $20 or more just to get into the theater. Not to mention the sinful display of temptations once you get in. $6.00 for popcorn, the same for a drink, and don't even mention candy prices. They're ridiculously overpriced and who buys candy in a theater anyhow, when you can smuggle candy in your purse or pocket? If the movie is good, you will end up buying it when it comes out on DVD anyway, and that's another ten to twenty dollars, making the entire movie going experience reach heights of $60 or more. This is not to say that some movies aren't worth paying that kind of price to see in the theater. But if you're going to go, and if you are planning to buy the movie when it comes out on disc, then make sure that the movie you are going to see is worth it and will not have been a waste of money.

And then there are the movie crowds. Usually made up of teenagers (nothing wrong with teenagers, mind you, I'm just saying...), the typical movie-going crowd is rambunctious, loud, obnoxious and refuses to actually watch the movie at hand. Unless you're going to a movie on Wednesday night after work (and this is hard to motivate yourself to do if you work longer than ten hours every day), you're going to run into the typical movie goers who smell bad, run in front of the screen during the movie and simply won't shut up about their fight with so-and-so. It makes movie going a waste of money when you run into this crowd. There are also those who think that going to a movie while sick is a good idea. For goodness sake, I don't understand this trend. Why are you coughing all over people, sneezing every five seconds and groaning and shivering in a movie theater? Stay at home and order pay-per-view. For whatever reason, the sick crowd loves going to the movies. Unless you plan to get sick or wear gloves and a mask to the theater (and risk being hauled out by men in white coats), it's nearly impossible to avoid these guys, even on Wednesday nights.

The movie itself is another reason that people stay away from theaters. I swear to you, I have been to the theater three times in the last two or three years when the movie either garbles in the middle or stops ten minutes before the end (right in the height of movie climax) or the sound stops while the movie goes on. The entire theater was enraged on all of these occasions, but nary did a movie-goer get their money or their wasted time back. The best that was offered was free tickets to come back to the useless theater, and an apology to the tune of "Things happen. You understand." No. I don't understand. It isn't that difficult to check and recheck to be sure that people are going to get what they've paid for. Nobody pays that much money to see half of a movie, or one with audio or visual problems or issues. It seems that rather than paying for a theater to maintain itself, movie-goers are lining the pockets of a "board of trustees" who know little about movie theater maintenance and frankly, probably don't care.

And the last thing that keeps reasonable people from going to the movies on a regular basis is the atmosphere of a movie theater. Have you noticed that there seems to be either absolutely no air conditioning - leaving the theater stagnant, smelly, and hot - or way too much air conditioning, leaving you shivering and with a headache by the end of the movie? Movie theaters have got to get this down pat, and you wouldn't imagine that it would be terribly difficult to do. Apparently keeping the popcorn coming, the movie going smoothly, the airheads from bouncing around the theater and the air conditioning at a decent temperature are too much for most theaters. It's a shame, too, considering the extraordinary quality of some of the movies being produced right now. I'd love to see most of them, but will simply have to wait until they are released to DVD so that I can watch them on my television at home.

If you manage to avoid the movie crowds (let me know how you managed to do it, if you do figure out how to avoid them), and you are absolutely positive that the film you are going to see will have been worth seeing on the big screen, then by all means, go. When I was a younger man, I used to absolutely love going to the theater, but lately it seems that there are more reasons not to go than there are to go. This is too bad, and I hope that theaters are able to turn it around. Until then, I understand why the rest of you may be on my side of the coin.