Why I Do Not Observe My Birthday

Sometimes it can be a challenge telling someone why I do not observe my birthday when asked. In fact I have not observed my birthday for almost ten years now so that I have actually forgotten when it used to be. In cases such as filling out important forms I have to look it up on my driver's license. I am not a Jehovah's Witness, the denomination best known for not observing birthdays nor Christmas. Rather, my reason for not observing my birthday stems from several terrible experiences in conjunction with that day that occurred almost ten years ago.

Call it being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it was actually in a place I did not want to begin with, but went anyways just to make a family member happy. What started out as a mediocre evening turned into a nightmare at the end which made me wonder just how worth the sacrifice of my time and interest the event was. Of course, that was assuming I had any real interest anyways; normally groups of people bore me to death. Neither do I talk in detail to people I do not know, since that seems pointless to me; why give out personal information you do not know really well at all? So I was faced with the challenge of sitting at a table when I would much rather be at home with my husband. Being a natural homebody, my husband originally wanted to talk me out of going to the silly event '" a musical birthday party for someone who I just met and did not even care about. While the 4.5 hours wasted during then is time I will never get back I have in some ways managed to make up for it through personal achievements.

As I said, I am not a Jehovah Witness but I know some people who are, and their arguments against birthdays are pretty convincing: that bad behavior takes place on those days, if not by the attendants then by the guest of honor. The evening in question back in 2004 certainly saw such behavior, not as the result of alcohol, but interpersonal conflicts that I had no involvement in until the very end. Sure, it impacted me in a way I never expected, causing such a drastic change in my life. Even now when I think about it, sharing my birthday with an unseemly person does not have a favorable effect on me. In such cases, sharing a birthday with someone like that would be akin to my sharing my husband with another woman (thank goodness that has never happened due to our very close relationship, plus the fact we are never apart should one of us have to go out anywhere). Not feeling welcome at the musical birthday, I went home, happy to do so after wasting what seemed like forever, hearing not only bad music played, but not talking to anyone at all, since I knew nobody there.

On the positive side, I feel as if my age has stopped, being locked in time for seven years now. My husband tells me I do not even look as if I have aged by since then, or he is just being polite. He is sympathetic to my wishes and has even suggested that I observe my birthday on the same date as his. But I politely declined, and ironic as it seems that I do not observe my own birthday anymore, I always observe my husband's birthday, getting him a cake plus a special present on his day and sharing an elaborate meal with him. Not all birthdays are created equal, much to my thankfulness.