Why it is Okay to Let Kids Win when Playing Games
Give Their Confidence an Occasional Boost
Many kids have a hard time losing when playing games. After all, being a loser is not enviable. It has negative connotations. Even some adults have a problem with losing, and many do not hide it very well. In any case, kids should never be made to feel like losers, especially when adults are involved. What seems trivial to parents can remain in the memory of a child for life.
Games and Childhood Memories
When the odds are not fair it is important for parents to help boost their kid's confidence once and a while. It is okay to let kids win when playing games, but not every time. Parents that always let their kids win are not making a wise choice. They are over inflating a fragile ego that will eventually burst. On the other hand, parents that never let their children win are boosting their own self-esteem at the expense their children. How do you want your kids to remember their childhood?
Playing Checkers with Dad
Some of my fondest childhood memories include playing games of checkers with my dad. It was challenging, but most of the time I won. At least I thought I did at the time. It felt good to win, but my dad did not always let me win. I had to learn how to handle loss graciously, and it was a lesson in sportsmanship. I did not cry and pout when I lost because I won at least half of the games that we played. It is okay to let kids win now and then because they will learn to enjoy the challenge rather than the outcome. The point is not if you win or lose. It is how your child feels while playing games.
Never Laugh When Kids Lose
Parents that laugh or tease kids that lose are emotionally abusive. They might not realize the harm they are causing, but they are teaching their kids poor sportsmanship. They are also teaching their children to abuse others in the same despicable manner. These types of parents would never let their kids win while playing games. They are highly competitive, and they were likely teased as kids. In some ways they really never grew up, and they are not willing to give their kids a few moments of happiness let alone the thrill of the win.
Thank you, dad, for letting me win now and then while playing checkers and other games. You gave me the gift of self confidence. At the same time, you taught me how to graciously accept defeat and how to treat other people.
Source: Parenting and Childhood Experiences and Observations
Games and Childhood Memories
When the odds are not fair it is important for parents to help boost their kid's confidence once and a while. It is okay to let kids win when playing games, but not every time. Parents that always let their kids win are not making a wise choice. They are over inflating a fragile ego that will eventually burst. On the other hand, parents that never let their children win are boosting their own self-esteem at the expense their children. How do you want your kids to remember their childhood?
Playing Checkers with Dad
Some of my fondest childhood memories include playing games of checkers with my dad. It was challenging, but most of the time I won. At least I thought I did at the time. It felt good to win, but my dad did not always let me win. I had to learn how to handle loss graciously, and it was a lesson in sportsmanship. I did not cry and pout when I lost because I won at least half of the games that we played. It is okay to let kids win now and then because they will learn to enjoy the challenge rather than the outcome. The point is not if you win or lose. It is how your child feels while playing games.
Never Laugh When Kids Lose
Parents that laugh or tease kids that lose are emotionally abusive. They might not realize the harm they are causing, but they are teaching their kids poor sportsmanship. They are also teaching their children to abuse others in the same despicable manner. These types of parents would never let their kids win while playing games. They are highly competitive, and they were likely teased as kids. In some ways they really never grew up, and they are not willing to give their kids a few moments of happiness let alone the thrill of the win.
Thank you, dad, for letting me win now and then while playing checkers and other games. You gave me the gift of self confidence. At the same time, you taught me how to graciously accept defeat and how to treat other people.
Source: Parenting and Childhood Experiences and Observations
Published by Crystal Ray - Featured Contributor in Lifestyle
Crystal Ray is an award-winning freelance writer and artist from the Chicago area. Her passion is interior design, but she also loves entertaining and crafting. She is continually developing unique and creat... View profile
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3 Comments
Post a CommentExcellent insight!
I think the key is "now and then" as you said. It helps kids gain confidence but also helps them learn to deal with losing sometimes, too!
BRAVO! My dad never let me win at Checkers. Eventually I didn't even want to play the game with him anymore. What's the point of playing a game you know you'll never win? Then he would criticize me for not playing with him. I learned to fear defeat and to loathe criticism.