Why Our Son Doesn't Believe in Santa

Our son does not know who Santa is. I thought perhaps he had picked up the story of the guy in the red suit at some point, so I asked when we were out shopping last weekend. "Do you see that statue?"

"Yes."

"Who is that man?"

"A man with a beard."

We will avoid the Man With A Beard for yet another year. Now for all of you who are thinking about how terrible we are that we do not tell our children the story of Santa, I would like to share why.

It is not for religious significance, though certainly we could attach morality to it. Instead we believe that Santa is a wonderful story. We read to our son, and our daughter starting this year, about the stories of Christmas ranging from The Grinch to 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. We love the magic of these stories and the atmosphere they promote during this most exciting time of the year. Santa is in those stories, but we present him as a story like the others. He is not real. No one is coming down the chimney. We don't leave out cookies and milk.

For starters, I always thought it unfair that Santa got much of the credit for an excellently orchestrated Christmas morning. Parents work to shop and hide gifts and then stay up until the wee hours just for kids to be thankful to some guy they have not met for bringing their gifts. My concern with the scene isn't just the lack of appreciation for Mom and Dad. It's that Mom and Dad don't get any recognition as being able to give to their children. Instead the children must rely on an outside force to get presents.

Second, I don't want my children to behave, or be admonished toward it, during the last quarter of the year because they want nice gifts. They should behave because we all should learn to present ourselves with dignity. I cringe when I hear parents say, "don't do that, or Santa won't bring you any presents."

Finally, and most importantly, how can we teach our children about the spirit of the Christmas season if we are perpetuating this myth that Santa doles out presents based on behavior? Why do we pluck a child's name from the Angel Tree at our local mass merchandiser? Why does my husband's office buy gifts for an entire family? Why do we pick out toys for the Toys for Tots program?

Charity is an immensely important part of my family's life. Our religion calls on us to "do unto the least of these my brethren," and we work hard to instill these values in our children through giving during all seasons of the year. It would seem, then, that presenting Santa as a real concept is counterproductive to the aims we have for our children's lives.

So, we will go another year with the Man With a Beard being just another story our son knows, and he will pick out gifts for other children with us joyfully knowing, as best a 2 year old can, that we have an obligation to give to others who need a little extra help this year.