Why Parents Should Set Boundaries for Children

Boundaries are a necessity for children of all ages. As a responsible parent it is your job to make sure that your kids are given the tools to be a confident and respectful human being as an adult. It is our job and goal to raise our children to be happy and successful in the world when they leave the nest. We are their how-to manual to life and the world around them.

Setting boundaries for children is more than just making rules for your kids. Letting your child know what they can and cannot do sets the stage for learning what is expected of them. Learning right from wrong and when it's crossing a line will mold their behavior. Children that do not have boundaries will not know when they have gone too far resulting in hard to control behavior.

Imagine your child at school cursing at their teacher because they don't want to participate in nap time. They use these words at home so why is school any different? One of the other kids brought their favorite toy from home and your child wants to play with it. The toy's owner only wants it out for show and tell. Your child decides to throw a tantrum to get their way because it always works at home. Now imagine your child in his or her teenage years still with out any boundaries set or consistent parenting.

Being consistent with boundaries can result in children having low self-esteem and poor self image. Having to learn consequences to their actions only by being ridiculed by peers and not being included in play time hurts. They don't understand that their behavior is inappropriate since there isn't a problem with it at home. If your child has not been taught how to share, not to hit or that they can't always have everything they want with constant follow through, they are going to behave the same at school and on the playground. Not having any other children wanting to play or socialize with them can be devastating to their self worth.

At home, how much time do you spend yelling with out any results? Yelling at your child may get results for the moment, but long term it means nothing. Setting specific rules and consequences will. It is not just your child's behavior that needs a big change but yours as well. Children need to have boundaries set for them at a young age. As soon as they are starting to crawl and walk around start laying down the law. It's not as harsh as it sounds but the younger you start, the easier it will be to keep rules in place for your child as they age.

When your child is getting to the age where they are curious and starting to get into things, you need to set boundaries and rules for safety. You don't want your toddler playing with the heater or walking up to the coffee table a grabbing your cup. Toddlers need to be told no and time-outs are just fine to reinforce your rules. You have to be consistent. If you set a consequence for an action, following through every time is the only way you will be able to curb the rule breaking.

Your consistency alone does great things for a child. Consistency in itself is a boundary that your children can find safety in. We all know that kids need routine. Setting nap times, snack times, story times, bed time routines are all things kids function well with. Knowing what to expect will reflect in their behavior. They know that if they break this rule this is what's going to happen. If they don't break the rule they won't have to give up their toy or sit in time-out.

Remember that part of setting up boundaries and consequences for poor behavior is also setting up a system to reward good behavior. Positive reinforcements encourage proper behavior and give them a reason other than fear of punishment to be well behaved. It doesn't always have to be a special treat as that will quickly back fire and can turn into having to bribe for good behavior. A simple acknowledgment and verbal praise will do a lot for children at all ages. Letting them know that you see their positive behavior and appreciate them will go much further than anything material.

Life at home with the kids doesn't have to be a struggle or constant war between parents and their kids. Set down specific rules and what will happen as a result of breaking them. Make sure that it is something that you will be able to follow through with every time. Your kids know that when you are not consistent they can do what they want. Be in charge of your house and take the control back. It won't take long before you start to see all around changes in your child's behavior. Boundaries set at home will extend into their life at school and with their friends. Give your child the confidence and self-esteem they deserve and need to be successful and happy adults.