Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

There are two common reasons why a person gets trapped into an abusive relationship:

1. The most common reason is security. Most often than not, their partner makes them feel secure by providing for them and their children if they have any. The person may feel inadequate and insecure with their abilities that they depend on their partner for almost everything. If there is any physical abuse, then they could fear what could happen them if they left. These two reasons alone could make it extremely hard for them to leave if they have become dependent with no where else to go. Most likely this person has also become either isolated from their family and friends and therefore have no one else to talk to or are too ashamed to have told their loved ones and have not talked to anyone about it. Since the person feels so insecure with themselves, most likely from all of the emotional, psychological, physical, and/or sexual abuse, they might also feel that no one else would want them but their abuser.

2. Another common reason is that the person longs for what many call the "honeymoon phase" or "fairy tale phase", in which their abuser was kind, gentle, and understanding -- most likely the way they were upon first meeting. The abuser may frequently promise to change back into the "honeymoon phase", but eventually breaks the cycle, and then returns back to promising to change again. People in abusive relationships most likely have come from broken families with a history of abuse and therefore do not know what real love or caring feels like. Their abusive relationship is all they have come to experience. They may also believe that they themselves can change their partner and believe them over and over again when they say that they will change. However. the reality is that it does not happen without some sort of intervention which makes the abuser realize what they are doing is not right and that they must want to change themselves. Also, the abused person needs to realize that he or she is better off without their abusive partner. Unfortunately, they do not have the confidence and are not strong enough to do it alone.