Why Personal Comparison is a Modern Social Crisis

Comparison is necessary. We are learning when we are making comparisons. But constantly comparing ourselves to others is usually an unproductive, even disruptive, way to live.

Many people spend all too much of their time comparing themselves to others. This one is taller than that one. Your child is smarter than your neighbor's child. I make better coffee than you do. You may even feel as if you are an actual part of your favorite team if it beats your hapless neighbor's favorite. It's as if your patronage made the difference. What's the point?

For starters, it's a boost to our self-esteem; it is said to be good for the ego. But is it really? There may be a boost, no matter how superficial, when we are on the winning side but none if we don't come out on top in the comparison.

Every individual is unique. No two are alike. Why then must we focus outwardly when it's so much more useful to reflect inwards?

The answer is that you don't have to. You can train yourself to look in instead of out. Here are a few good ways.

Learn to accept what you are. Of course this is easier said than done and may take a little time. There is a finite amount that you can do to change yourself. Deal with cards you been dealt. You can't play someone else's hand.

Make the best of what you have. Let's say you are plain and your neighbor is gorgeous. You cannot become your neighbor so focus instead on what you can become. Your neighbor looks great in white but you are heavier and black flatters you more. Wear the black. You'll just accentuate your weight problem if you try to be like your neighbor in white.

As you accept what you are and enhance what you have you will develop new self confidence. Displaying confidence is very attractive. You don't have to be the most beautiful person in the room to be the most noticed, if you radiate your self confidence.

Also radiate your good will. Smile a lot. Be cheerful and friendly. This will become the focus of others, not the flaw you used to fret so much about. If you send out a positive message you will more likely get a positive response.

Try to compare your old self with the new you. You will realize that you no longer need to compare yourself to others.