Why Picking Your Nose is Bad for Your Health

As I looked up from my desk and absently glanced at one of my co-workers, I noticed his entire forefinger jammed up his nose. After the initial shock and urge to vomit, it occurred to me that some people may not realize the health risks involved with nose picking. They also don't realize that whatever opinion others have formed of them declines by at least 978.6% after witnessing a nose picking incident.

The main reason nose pickers go snot collecting is that the nose often gets clogged with mucus that catches debris in the air and slightly hardens to form an uncomfortable booger. In an unsophisticated attempt to remove said blockage, some people take their finger and shove it up their nostril and scrape away the hardened detritus to clear the air passage. Not only that, others decide that smearing said mucus pearl on their clothes is just way too juvenile, so instead, they suck it down their throat as an afternoon snack. The following is a fact - nowhere in the food group pyramid is snot mentioned.

Perhaps I am alone in believing that public nose picking is immoral and should be illegal. Think of the yummy germs left on the nose pickers' fingers that touch the door handles, keyboards, phones, and every other shared surface in your office and you might start to agree with me.

If you are a nose picker, for the health of yourself and those around you, there are other ways to dispose of the crunchy mucus gems that bother you. You can go to your nearest restroom and blow your nose with a tissue. I understand that sometimes stubborn snot deposits are difficult to blow out, so if you must force your finger up your nose, at least cover it with a tissue first. However, no matter what, it is imperative to wash your hands with soap and water after you are done removing the offending debris from your nasal area.

I realize that sometimes it does take like two minutes to have to get up and go to the restroom to perform the above prescribed procedure. Keep in mind though, not only will you be making your workplace a healthier environment, but you will also preserve any small amount of respect you may have garnered from your peers. Removing boogers in a meeting and then inspecting them, flicking them, and sometimes eating them will mean everyone around you will consider you a freaking idiot and a moron.

Now, for those of you that are desperate to get your co-workers to stop contaminating everything they touch with their cootie-ridden fingertips, try a few different tactics.

Vomit and yell "I can't believe you're picking your nose in public!" when they do it in a meeting.

Leave books on the offensive person's desk to drop a hint, like Germs are Not For Sharing by Elizabeth Verdick and Marieka Heinlen, Invasion of the Nosepickers by Gordon Corman, or The Complete Booger Book by David Nordstrom, Cliff Carle, and Travis Hanson.

If books don't give them a hint, try a more subtle approach like using your own snot to smear the words "Stop picking your nose" on their monitor. Or, make a little origami paper box filled with boogers and wrapped in a green bow as an innocent looking present.

If they don't take the hint after that, you will just have to wear gloves all the time and become obsessive-compulsive about hand washing.