Why Rape?

Personal experience has taught me that men tend to rape for at least one of three primary reasons. The first rational is their desire to control a non-consenting victim. Secondly, they are acting out anger or hostility. Finally, a rapist may gain sense of accomplishment and self-worth by degrading another human being. Each rapist is unique. Every rapist is an individual with individual motives and drives. Commonly, a rape is not about a sexual act but of domination.

Rapists who enjoy the rape of a total stranger may rape for the sole purpose of making a female submit to his authority. These women will probably bear more physical scars than victims that are emotionally submissive to their attacker. These women tend to fight to preserve who they are and believe they are stronger than the rapist is. The rapist who seeks to rape women he has not emotionally dominated will enjoy the fight and gain pleasure from the attempts of the female to flee. His satisfaction is complete when her will is broken and he has his way with her.

These men may use the expression of rape to get back at a mother who sexually, emotionally, or physically abused them. The anger they have nurtured for years on end seems to justify the degrading acts they force on women. They desire to hurt the person who failed them but instead rationalize why this women should pay. It may be the smell of perfume, the way she walks, talks, or treats him that pushes him over the edge. The unsuspecting rape victim can control all of these factors but she is unaware of the turmoil building inside this stranger.

The rapist will be satisfied for a bit but will again seek to dominate a female again, to regain the pleasurable high he had when he raped before. He will become more aggressive, taunting his victims into fighting more and more, seeking to take his pleasure to a new level. He will not be satisfied until he is dead or reconciled his past. It is possible that many of his victims will not live to tell what ever happened to them.

Being raped can also be a physical expression of emotional domination. A rape victim must be emotionally dominated before being physically raped. A rapist has to establish total emotional dominance to prevent a brutal attack on him and successfully rape his victim. He may feel as if he was emotional neglected as a child or his mother's emotional substitute for his absent father. These rapists are mad at the circumstances of life and want the victim to feel the same way he feels.

The emotionally submissive victim will suffer long-term emotional issues because she will determine she herself instigated and encouraged the rape. She will heal from the physical scars, if any exist, only to be chained to the dominating emotions stemming from the rape. The women are more likely to be raped multiple times, on multiple occasions. They may even choose to live with their rapist, blind to the emotional brainwashing that has occurred over time. These women honestly believe they deserve the treatment they receive from their abusers.

These thoughts are exactly what a rapist is seeking. As long as the victim blames herself, he is free to continue his life. He knows that it takes incredible strength for a woman to face her attacker. If she berates and belittles herself, she will never be strong enough to face him. Women also forget the strength needed to accuse their attacker and might continually to be emotionally dominated by memories of the attack. This is why some victims remain victimized even after the conviction of the rapist. A victim must realize exactly who is responsible for the attack.

All three of these reasons were present in my personal situation. My rapist had a desire to control me, a non-consenting victim, in a very powerful and abusive manner. He also seemed to be acting out anger or hostility in his acts. This was evident especially in his physical abuse of his stepdaughters in front of me. Finally, he seemed to enjoy the act of rape not as a pleasurable sexual experience, but as a challenge in which he prevailed. I was an object to be conquered and he felt he could conquer me emotionally and physically. He was driven to succeed, not driven by a sexual desire.