Why Retirement Homes Should Add Variety to Their Demographics

Since I was a little girl, my uncle talked about how someday he and my aunt would live at a Masonic retirement home. Today, some forty years later, that is exactly where my aunt and uncle live, in a beautiful Masonic home with a view of the ocean.

Not many people plan their lives out so precisely. I have no idea where I will someday retire, and I am much older than my uncle when he initially made the decision. The question, was it a good decision for my aunt and uncle. Are they happy? Did those years of anticipation match reality? Yes and no.

It is my understanding, if you are a Mason in good standing, you are eligible to live in a Masonic retirement home. They house, feed and take care of your medical expenses for the remainder of your life. You no longer have financial worries. Of course, you do have to turn over most of your assets.

For my uncle, he loves his new home. Unfortunately, my aunt has not adjusted as well. She misses her kitchen and I imagine she misses many of her friends.

I can understand my uncle's desire to live at the home. My aunt has a variety of medical issues, and before they moved to the Masonic home, he spent much of his time caring for his wife. Most of the housekeeping duties fell on him, as she was not up to the activities of her younger self.

At the Masonic home meals are prepared, housekeeping is provided, and should a spouse begin suffering with Alzheimer, they are provided for. No longer is an aging spouse tackling the sole responsibility of caring for his or her partner.

My in-laws still live in their own home. A few years ago my father-in-law lost his leg. Although he is doing well, he is 87 years old, and is cared for by his 80 year old wife. At the Masonic home, my mother-in-law would be relieved of tasks such as cleaning and cooking, and would have more time for herself.

A few years ago my mother, sister and I went to visit my aunt and uncle. My aunt was still struggling to adjust to her new environment, something she still has not mastered. After spending a night with them, I gained a brief insight into why some of these homes are difficult for people like my aunt, in spite of their obvious benefits.

The first and most obvious; the age. You are surrounded by older people, all day long. Yes, we are talking about seniors surrounded by other seniors, and some might think people shouldn't mind be surrounded by those of the same age group. I believe it is healthy and stimulating to interact with all ages. I know my children benefit by their association with their grandparents, just as an adult may enjoy spending time with children. Mankind is made up from all age groups, and I believe age segregation can have negative consequences.

Since this particular Masonic home was fairly isolated, the impression of the age factor was heightened. There was rarely any children, teens or young adults mingling with the popularion. And other than the staff, the entire population was comprised of seniors. With advanced age, comes frequent death. It can get pretty depressing when your house-mates are frequently dying.

If there was some way to mix up the population, perhaps place such a retirement home where residents would have a wider interaction with all age groups. There is a feeling of unhealthiness when the population is so stifled and controlled. People need stimulation. I believe this isolation and age segregation can be very depressing for some people.

My second impression applied primarily to this particular facility. It is a beautiful facility, reminds me of an estate. In spite of the fact the grounds are beautiful and spacious, the residents seem to be all cooped up inside. I saw no balconies, patios or outdoor facilities. It reminded me a bit of the classic The Secret Garden, where there was this beautiful, magical, outdoor space, yet it was forbidden territory.

Where will I go when I retire? I don't know. But I would like to enjoy the outdoors, and people of all ages.