Why You Shouldn't Be Friends with Your Neighbors

I've been living away from my home state for four years now. I remember the first year that I lived in Georgia. I was just itching to meet new people. I wanted to make new friends. My husband, however, had already been living here and couldn't understand my eagerness to get to know others. I felt very isolated being five hours from home and not knowing my own neighbors. At the time, we lived in an apartment complex. It was easy to meet and greet my neighbors. I actually had many friendly conversations with some of them.

After a year of living in our apartment, we decided to buy a home. Our goal was to have some privacy, but I never anticipated how strong my urge to know my neighbors would be. I decided that I didn't like many of them off the bat. I particulary didn't care for the neighbors of mine that were too loud. Some of them would ride through blasting inappropriate music. Others would simply stand outside in the middle of the night and laugh with freinds, which prevented you from going to sleep. I quickly realized that I disliked many of the families living around me.

Over time, I realized that much of the reason I didn't like anyone was because I felt they owed me something. I felt as if they should have welcomed us to the neighborhood, which they didn't. I suppose I expected at least one person to show up and say, "Hey, welcome to the neighborhood." Nope, that didn't happen. But, after I got over my bitterness and some of the noisy neighbors were foreclosed on, I had a longing to get to know them.

I started giving cards and small housewarming gifts whenever someone new moved in. I thought this would show the new homeowners that someone cared for them. Someone took notice that they existed. Someone thought of them when they were at the store and wanted to wish them a wonderful year in their brand new home. Though giving gifts and greeting cards is not what helped me get to know the families around me, I did get to know them.

I wish that I could go back to that day when I didn't know any of their names. I wish I didn't know their personal problems. Getting to know your neighbors can also make for problems of your own. The more you get to know them, the more you become friends. That sounds great to have friends that live right next to you, but it isn't always so. It can be very convenient if you need a cup of sugar, a ride to Urgent Care because you broke out into hives, or if you want to borrow a movie. However, keep in mind that the more you know your neighbor...the more you can fight about with your neighbor. Even if everything seems perfect between your families, there is always room for conflict. When you know someone you are more comfortable with them. If there is anything that you do that bothers them, they often won't hesitate to tell you about it. When they didn't know you, they may not mention it for fear of not knowing your reaction. The point is that you may get many "Can You" questions.

You also need to keep in mind that anything and everything you tell your neighbor could be leaked. Never trust a neighbor with personal information. You may think you can be great friends. You may get along wonderfully. But, even if they do become your best friend, you still shouldn't tell them things that you wouldn't want to get out to anyone else. In the event of a blow-up, everyone on your block could be turned against you forever. Or, your husband or wife could begin divorce filings (but, let's hope you aren't hiding anything that serious).

Another thing to consider is that you may always be seen as "available." Your neighbors may stop and talk to you for thirty minutes every time they see you. They may show up randomly and knock on the door. Then, you feel obligated to answer because you know that they know you're home.

There are some perks to knowing your neighbors, but I feel it's more inconvenient and even hazardous to become friends with them. Say hello, nod and wave, but don't invite them over and don't get too close unless you are prepared for what could possibly arise.