Why You Shouldn't Get Married as a Teenager

Teenagers think they are invincible and can conquer the world. They fall in love sometimes at the drop of a hat, then fall out of love just as quickly. They may believe they have all of the answers to life, but they simply do not. Some teenagers jump into marriage as soon as they turn 18. Others somehow convince their parents to give consent for them to marry underage.

Marriage as a teen couple is extremely difficult. The teenagers are not yet adults or they are barely legal. Many teens get married for a few different reasons: Some are pregnant or have gotten a girl pregnant, some think they are in love; maybe they are. Many teens get married to run away from violent or neglectful situations at home involving their parents or guardians. Some may only want to feel loved. These marriages usually do not last too long these days. Half of teen marriages end in divorce within 15 years, compared to a third of marriages among those aged over 20. Jay Giedd, a pediatric psychiatrist, has stated that the point of intellectual maturity, the so called "age of reason", comes about the age of 25. In women, it is reached a year or two earlier.

There are countless forces working against teens who marry. They have to deal with commitment issues, major financial responsibilities, parental responsibilities. It can definitely become overwhelming. Some public school systems will not always enroll married teenagers. Many private schools just won't do so at all. Married teens need to research what educational opportunities may or may not be available to married teens in their state.

Another problem involving married teenager is, according to the Center for Law and Social Policy, "Compared to girls who marry later, teenage brides have less schooling, less independence, and less experience of life and work." Teen brides are also at more risk for being abused and living at poverty levels.

I got married to my husband when I was 16; four months before I turned 17. My husband was 17, almost 18, and it was an extremely hard road for us. We got married young, got pregnant a few months after that, gave up going to college. My husband gave up playing college football because it was far away and he didn't want to leave me behind. We gave up our youth, basically, for family life full of responsibility and struggling times. Although it was hard, I wouldn't change getting married and having a family at 16. However, we want more for our children. We have four, and there is no way I would sign anything saying that they could marry someone when they are under 18. I do not want them to struggle for many years trying to raise a family and work on a marriage when they should be in college and having fun with their friends.

There were about 15 couples in my high school that got married before graduating, and I think ours and one other couple's are the only ones that lasted this long. We have been married over 12 and a half years. I am certain it will continue to get easier since things are great right now and have been for a while. As we both grew up, we learned how to have a mature relationship. I think a lot of the problem with teen marriage is that they are not mature enough to have a marriage: they shouldn't be married. We shouldn't have been married, however, we were and it has been hard but wonderful also. We have made it this far and I am confident that the hard times are in the past.