Why Soccer Isn't Exciting to Americans

The assignment desk and the editors at Associated Content challenge me for: 'Top 5 Reasons Why Soccer Will Never Be Big In The US." Are they kidding me? Only 5! Is this due to copy-space? Nope! I appeal to differ, for this is the world wide web. The space here is as infinite as the universe itself, expanding as vast and fast as the list of lovers Tiger Woods has had come out within the media each day.

But for the sake of the assignment, and its prerequisite of asking for only the top 5 reasons why soccer will never be big in the US, here we go with number one listed as first instead of the reverse. I have no need to build any excitement here, and I am not David Letterman. Soccer does not build any excitement here in the United States, so why should I start now?

1) The State Of The Economy Here In The US = Lack Of Money

Baseball, Chevrolets & Apple Pie...

Baseball is American as you can get. Frankly, if I need a non-narcotic sleep-aid I simply turn the TV to baseball and its lights-out, however tickets for a major league baseball game went skyward up to 5.4 percent back in 2006, for an average $22.21 per ticket price. If you take into account the price of gas to get there, parking, food and souvenirs for a family of four, you're going home $175 big-bucks lighter. If your a fan of the Detroit Tigers as I am, you're going home not only $175 lighter, but really cheesed-off because they most likely lost, again! And please spare me the riff about being disciplined with your money, and not buying the kids a program or a souvenir, for I would rather participate in the running of the bulls in Spain than tell the kids no. With the MLS in its infancy-state here in the US, and the average price of a ticket being around the same as a MLB game, no one is dropping that kind of loot on a whim just to see what a live soccer event experience is like. Take the other expenditures into account, and I need not to write anymore about the subject.

2) The Lack Of Any Broadcast Media Coverage

If It Is Not On TV It Cannot Be Real...

With the infancy-state of the US based MLS league as I mentioned above, there are very few media outlets' that has allowed it any proper exposure for proper healthy growth here in the US to gain any large fan base; for the exception of ESPN. That said, the exposure ESPN allows it is only on ESPN's red-headed, step-child station; ESPN2. On ESPN2, the MLS league contends with an almost equally rabid fan base of the major-league sports realm with its dedicated collegiate sports followers. ESPN2 offers a wide array of collegiate seasonal sports, giving that segment precedence over the lowly MLS for its coveted time-slots. Culminate that with the ever growing, and very popular televised "sport" of Poker, the MLS my as well fold'em. ESPN2 also has many "alternative" sports that have a large fan base in the area of field and steam programs such as: White Tail Country, Territories Wild, Bass Fishing, Browning Chronicles and Realtree Outdoors. This is where MLS Commissioner Don Garber needs to start doing his job, as opposed to fielding questions as to whether or not David Beckham will stay in the MLS league or go back overseas where the roots and origins of soccer come from, and step-up and start demanding more respectable coverage. David Beckham has certainly put more and more back-sides in the bleachers over recent years for the LA Galaxy team, but he alone cannot sell American's on soccer with 16 other clubs within the league and two possible expansions on the horizon. Add the also very popular, not to mention brutal sport of Rodeo televised on ESPN2 into the mix, that scores low with the PETA organization, and the MLS my as well put a fork in it.

3) Did Someone Say Low Scores And Brutality?

American's Want Blood, Guts And Scores...

Let's face it, anyone that has seen a soccer game knows that there are never any games with scores that of National Basketball Association, with their 102 to 100 game-ending score accumulations. To me, watching a NBA game is like watching a MLB game (snooze-ville), even if it was a game between the popular Boston Celtics Vs. Los Anglos Lakers. It's a back and forth game of shoot, score, turn-overs and free-throw shots; which ultimately results in a battle of the remaining time on the clock. But these are the many aspects that the game holds which make the NBA exciting to its fans. But what about the game of hockey you ask? Hockey is not known for its rapid succession of goals, but the pure speed and skill required to score a goal is indeed very exciting. Add testosterone, and the frustration trying to score a goal in the game of hockey, chances are a bloody-brawl may entail. Ask any hockey fan and they will tell you that with the acceptance of fighting allowed in the NHL, it does indeed make the game of hockey even more exciting. Who can forget the blood-bath between the Detroit Red Wings Vs the Colorado Avalanche on March 26th back in 1997? Even the goalies in that infamous game came out of their perspective goal-crease's, and went head-to-head in battle. The same applies with the sport of NASCAR racing. People definitely come out by the thousands to cheer on their favorite NASCAR driver, but anyone will tell you that there is not a shadow of doubt they morbidly salivate over the possibility of a car-wreak. If they denied this, there are lying. American's love the taste and sight of blood in any sport. The game of soccer may render a shin-to-shin contact, that results in nothing more than a trainer applying a band-aid or two.

4) Soccer Snobbery

Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Naaaaaaaa-Our-League-Is-Better-Than-Your-League...

Most foreigners residing in rabid-dog soccer loving countries turn their snooty noses upwards, cast their eye's downward, and turn their heads away as to not recognized the MLS as a legitimate league here in the US. Most likely because the US has a tendency to do things our way. It is indeed the American way, however the US, and the MLS league has not deviated and or bastardized the sport of soccer in any shape or form since its inception here in the United States of America of its original origins. Example: Soccer has predominate deep-roots in Britain, who then "exported" soccer to its colonies 150 years ago. We simply said no thank you very much way back then, and when you consider what Randy Roberts, a historian at Purdue University was quoted as saying into account, it's no wonder; for Mr. Roberts said, "America was all about being independent from Great Britain, so soccer's inability to stick here really is a product of historical forces." I say, "Can't we all get along and play soccer!" The residents of soccer-worshipping nations need stop trash-talking our MLS league, and say that they should respect out independence and appreciate the fact that we have now somewhat finally embraced the sport of soccer with our own MLS league and be flattered that we have done so. Maybe they should become allies with us as they did in more pertinent matters of the past such the World Wars.

5) The Formulation Of A Multi-Layered American Equation Is Culprit

It's Our Way Or Hit The Highway...

This is a slight accumulation of all listed above, and as not to go against the American way, we must also consider that the US is a rich country, or at least it used to be, and many foreigners from countries that love the sport of soccer come from poor regions that look-upon us as a capitalistic country trying to make a quick-profit from their beloved, and revered game of soccer. As Americans we have also to take into account, that allot of us have the attention span of a gnat on crack, and have to have it here and now, and quickly or our attention is lost in near seconds until we then go onto the next greatest past-time of a rapid succession of scores and blood. That said, Americans love blood-sport and action it entails, and do not appreciate the full artistry of the game of soccer. If we cannot see freakish-like athlete Gladiators with the likes of Kimbo Slice and Tito Ortiz pounding the snot out of each other we do not want any part of it. We have indeed seen youth soccer leagues make leaps and bounds here in the US, but it remains just a recent alternative sport in the last decade to that of more traditional little-league sports of middle-class suburbanites. It has not in the generous allotment of said decade really penetrated our popular culture and desire in regards to spectator and or particapation sports.

Sources:
http://www.sixwise.com
http://web.mlsnet.com
http://www.usatoday.com
http://www.worldcupbuzz.com