Why Some People Shouldn't Adopt Children
I have been reading adoption articles here on AC and other places on the web for the past two weeks because we are thinking about adopting again. Some of the articles are so heartfelt and inspiring that they make me cry. There are so many people out there who have the biggest hearts and are willing to share them with children in need. To those people, I send a warm thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for those children.
However, there are articles from people who adopt just for the attention or even worse...for the money. There are articles about how much extra income that you can make from adopting special needs children from the state and how they come with Medicaid insurance and scholarships for education like college or trade schools. Yes you get a monthly stipend from the state for adopting a special needs or a disabled child but, the money is supposed to be spent on the child, you are not supposed to profit from it. How can you even think that way? We spend way over the amount that is sent to us on our children. I haven't gotten new clothes in forever but, my children have lots of new clothes. I don't feel the least bit bad about it either. If I would have given birth to them, I would do without so that they could have things.
There is even mention of how you can gain from telling your church that you are adopting or have adopted. Bragging about how much the church gives to them because of the adoption. What the heck? This makes me really mad. If anything, you should be thankful that you even have a church to go to not how much your church can help you out because you supposedly did something nice for someone. Adopting comes from the heart.
There are many articles on how the adoptive parents are trying to teach their child how to make it on their own since they will have to move out once they are 18. Again with the money thing. Why would the child have to move out once they are 18 unless it's because you are no longer getting paid to keep them? My kids are planning how they are going to split the house in half when I'm dead. The oldest boy says he is going to have the master bedroom and the living room and the youngest wants to live in his current bedroom as long as he can have the kitchen. We have told them that they can just build their own houses on the property and rent our current house out to make a profit.
The saddest articles are by adopted children who are grown now and complain that their adoptive parents never loved them. Some even complain of abuse. If you aren't going to love a child like it came from your blood, why the heck wouldn't you leave that child in foster care for someone who wants to love it?
In short, if you aren't going to treat your adopted child just like you would treat your own flesh and blood, don't bother adopting.
Published by Girl Gone Fishing
I am a Mother of 4. Two grown and gone and two still at home. Read my blog under affiliations if you want to keep up with my story. View profile
Abilify: Mood Stabilizer to Treat Special Needs ChildrenAbilify is a mood stabilizer that is often prescribed to special needs children to treat aggression.This is my experience with Abilify and my daughter.
Dressing and Grooming Your Special Needs Child to Make the Best ImpressionDon't you just hate rude people who stare at your special needs child? You can't do anything about those rude people, but you can make sure your child looks the best he or she c...- Teaching Special Needs Children: From Birth to AdulthoodThe best time to find out that your child is a special needs kid is immediately. The sooner you know the sooner you can help him to learn and grow into a contributing part of society.
Adoptive Parents May Make Better Parents Than Biological ParentsIn two partner households do adoptive parents provide more resources to their children than biological parents? This study that at least on average, they do.
Special-Needs Summer Camps in Breckenridge, ColoradoChildren with special-needs and disabilities love to have fun in the sun with others and attending a summer camp is the perfect opportunity for them to do so.
- What Emotions Potential Adoptive Parents Will Have when Adopting a Newborn
- Advice for Parents of Adopted Children: How and When to Talk About Adoption
- Madonna Wants to Adopt Second Malawian Child, Trial with Alleged Father
- Special Needs Kids Require Teachers' Patience and Personalized Techniques
- A Special Needs Family
- Special Needs Parenting
- The Special Needs Child - How Much is Too Much?
41 Comments
Post a CommentI am adopted and I would like to add that I don't believe that people that can have natural born children should adopt. Anyway in my case I was never treated like one of the natural born boys that my parents had before adopting me. Sure they loved me but not the way the loved their boys. I was once told that I couldn't have something from the family because I was not a "Smith" (not the real name) You can't imagine how that hurt my feelings and my mom always shrugged it off like they were just joking. It was always at my expense!! My brother's wives or girlfriends would always introduce me to their friends as David's adopted sister. Not just his sister but it was always his adopted sister. (my mom always said they were joking, again at my expense) My family never treated me like a blood child but like an outsider and my mother still does. People that can have their own children should not be allowed to adopt.. They cannot possibly love an adopted c
There are people who truely are taking advantage of the Adoption assistance program. I know because I used to care for a family with disabled children. This family adopted 5 disabled children. The parents knew with children to adopt because certain disabilities paid more. The children recieved Medi-cal so all medical needs were paid. Nursing,medical supplies,incontinant briefs, and nutritional supplies because the children had Gastric tubes. The parents recieved 15,000 dollers a month.Only about less then 500 dollers a month went toward these children. The parents also had 6 children that were biologicly theres.The adopted children would get the hand me downs. They are not required to provide proof expences on the children. The parents did not work. When the social worker would come to visit the parents would lie to the worker and tell them that they were doing worse then they actualy were. They would go on vacations frequently and never took the adopted children. The adopted children
I bet you didn't know so many people would feel the same as you? This is a great article and it should have 5 stars!!
Awesome article and I agree with your vent 100%! I too am a adoptive parent, but my boys are just that, my boys. The adoption was only a legality that we HAD to go through. One of my boys is special needs, the stipen doesn't cover his needs even remotely, and did not factor into my desicion to adopt him. We make do, and yopu know what.. that is okay.. I don't need a church to help us when times get tough finacially, the prayers are more than enough and we always prevail! Good luck on your serch for your little girl. She will be one lucky little girl, as I am sure you will be one lucky mommie! God bless!
This is so terrible...It should br brought to everyone's attention.
You have every right to be upset and it is so very wrong to adopt for money. Thank you for making people aware of an emotional topic. 5 stars for you!
It is sad that people would adopt for money. sigh.
Anyone who even thinks of adopting a child for monetary gain should be taken out to the wood shed. And if I were administering the beating, it would be with a thorn stick. This brings another thing to mind: some people shouldn't even have kids of their own. There are so many parents who mistreat their children, it makes you wonder: why did they have kids in the first place? And when I think of the children, I want to cry.
I'm glad my parents weren't like that. In fact I don't think the money thing existed then. Of course private adoption is different, I think. I hope you get the child you deserve. You are a good one. Good luck to you and your family.
Incredible! Adopting for the money!!! I have never adopted, but have had a hand in raising many, including my own two blood children, two step-children and a few foster children...not to mention those that were simply "dumped" on me for a time here and there. I can tell ANY out there thinking of adopting for the money. The cost of meeting childrens needs far out-weighs any benefits the state may give you. Now for the "Mastercard" commercial...the benefits of raising children...Priceless! Well done Girl. I am clicking subscribe right now!!!