Why Some Women Can't Find a Man

Jennifer Clary
I have known amazing women who own companies, work for the FBI, speak three languages fluently, and spend their spare time learning quantum physics who are absolutely incapable of establishing a healthy relationship with a man and maintaining it. Initially this phenomenon puzzled me, but my eight years at an all girls school and three years at a primarily female college provided me with ample opportunities to observe my girl friends inadvertently chase scores of men away. At their expense, I have come up with a three point theory as to why some women repel the opposite sex.

Excessive focus on physicality

I have a friend who wakes up at noon everyday and proceeds to beautify for approximately five hours. When I first met her she was a very interesting person who was passionate about archaeology and the evolution of punk rock. Now she painstakingly ensures that her mascara is applied perfectly, that her clothes accentuate every curve, and that her toenail polish is evenly applied. She is gorgeous and she reaps the initial benefit. When we walk into a drugstore together all the male clients and employees stare at her as if she holds the key to a secret world full of kindly Playboy bunnies, ointments that cure mid-life crises, and lakes that are filled to the brim with beer. Yet once a worthwhile guy has been out with her three or four times, he breaks it off. Why would any male in his right mind leave this jewel of a woman? Because she is boring to him. Although my friend's physicality is flawless, her personality is lacking because she focuses all of her time, energy, and thought on airbrush tanning, make-up appliance, and shopping. While a man may initially be attracted to a woman's looks, he will ultimately love a woman whom he finds interesting and admirable.


Smothering

Some women believe that sharing every tedious event of their daily life with a man is the key to forging an intimate relationship. This is almost always wrong. When smothering enters into a relationship the mystery and excitement of new romance dies. It is important for both men and women to continue to develop individual interests while in a relationship. I once knew a girl who was dating an avid kite flier. Although she did not particularly enjoy kites, she abandoned all of her favorite hobbies in order to spend every waking moment in the park with her beau. Instead of appreciating her support, he ultimately dumped her because she was no longer her own person and he found her dull.

Demanding

Women who make frequent, unrealistic demands of men are usually dumped. One of my male friends in college was made miserable for months on end because he was seeing a demanding girl. She was constantly giving him ultimatums like "if you don't quit the soccer team I'm going to leave you" and "if you spend time with any other female friends I'm going to leave you". Well, guess what? After a great deal of aggravation on both their parts, she did not leave him. He left her. A relationship should not be a dictatorship, it should be a mutually beneficial partnership.


There are, of course, many other reasons that relationships fail. However, I have witnessed women make the three aforementioned mistakes time and time again and hope that this article will prevent others from succumbing to these frequent relationship pitfalls.

Published by Jennifer Clary

Jennifer Clary is a writer and filmmaker who lives in Austin with her fiance and three pets. She is a graduate of Vassar College. She has written for tailslate.net, Freethought Magazine, and has had several...  View profile

11 Comments

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  • We can t find women who can t find men?11/16/2010

    This is frustrating beyond belief! Surely the internet would have ended this crap!

    I have a male perspective 'Dear Sis: How to find a man' <a href="http://www.harrykey.com/blogs/dear-sis-how-to-find-a-man/">http://www.harrykey.com/blogs/dear-sis-how-to-find-a-man/</a>

  • Rudy9/21/2010

    Dating has to change with the times. In our parents' day, people were a lot simpler and therefore relationships were less complicated. Today, a personality can have hundreds of facets and a match could be nearly impossible. What I do notice is that women are far more reserved than men and simply do not know how to have fun. A wet blanket puts out more than fires.

  • guest7/16/2010

    i second that....your evaluation is not deep enough. it does not help

  • Curious4/14/2010

    I'm not either of the 3 so that didn't help me at all : (

  • Xenoglossia10/13/2008

    I think your evaluation is quite shallow.

  • Raj9/28/2007

    These are universally unattractive characteristics in PEOPLE whether they are men, women, single, married, young, old, religious, non-religious, etc. I suggest you dig a little deeper.

  • Jennifer Thompson3/21/2007

    You know what? These are not typically the woman who (as in your intro) are those with the amazing attributes of "self." Not normally, I mean. I agree with all of your points. Please read my article of "what I have learned from too many failed relationships" parts I and II. let me know what you think.

  • John Gugie2/4/2007

    I need a professional Asian woman who can work a PC correctly. lol

  • samantha scovil8/28/2006

    yes i want a man to give me a single what would it be

  • Kara4/28/2005

    maybe you're friends haven't met a man because they really don't want to? It's okay to be single...

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