Why Spanking Your Child is Wrong
Spanking Sounds Like a Bad Word and It Is
How do you feel about spanking? Some people say that spanking is child abuse. Other people say that spanking is necessary. My parents spanked me and I turned out okay. Whether or not to spank their child is a tough call many new parents face when their angelic babies turn into limits-testing toddlers. While some parents don't see a problem with giving their little ones a pat or smack on the bottom, others think spanking should be avoided.
To get some perspective on the spanking controversy, we asked two moms - and one expert who is also a mom - to tell us why they feel the way they do about spanking. Spanking is not only potentially harmful to both parent and child, they say, but it also just doesn't work. While hitting provides a short-term fix, it creates long-term problems. Children who are spanked, these experts argue, are more likely to be aggressive, become withdrawn, or have behavior problems when they go to school. Repeatedly hitting a child with the intent of causing pain sounds like abuse to me. Hitting a child with belts or paddles could easily turn into abuse.
Discipline literally means to teach or instruct; usually referring to helping children learn self-direction and self-control. When parents speak of discipline, however, they often mean punishment - corporal punishment. More than 90 percent of parents report that they spank their children at least occasionally. Most parents were spanked when they were children. Spanking is often used to stop an undesirable behavior and hopefully to change future behavior.
Most studies have concluded that spanking, even when initially successful, decreases in effectiveness with subsequent use. It becomes less effective as children get older. Dealing with tantrums can feel bad, for everyone involved. Misbehavior in a public place is tough. Parenting with wisdom and control during such a time is tougher. Responding in a healthy way turns the situation around and takes us to a place where we feel like we did the right thing - and that really does feel good.
Is spanking really that bad? Yes it is - because violence really does breed violence and violence is a major problem in today's society. We are not saying that hitting at home is the only cause of that violence, but we are saying that ending hitting at home would help to reduce it. Children model a lot of their behaviour on their parents. Parents who use physical punishment are directly teaching their children that physical force is an acceptable way to get what you want. If we want less violent adults we have to bring them up believing that physical force is not acceptable.
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63 Comments
Post a CommentSpanking = hitting therefore it is abuse. Period. No one should be hitting a child for any reason. The reason why I feel I can say that parents shouldn't have the right to hit a child is because - I can't hit an adult or an animal - and shouldn't be able to hit a defenceless child!
No, not all spanked children are violent - I am 56 and am not - but I did have my childhood destroyed, and feel very resentful and angry. I lost respect, love and trust for my parents from the first smack. How can you trust someone that hits you? How can you respect someone that hits you and tell YOU that hitting isn't acceptable? How can you love someone who hits you and obviously doesn't care and love you?? [Telling me after spanking me that they loved me - didn't make sense to me, actions speaking louder than words!]If you were spanked - and still think that what your parents did was right - then you should look up Stockholm Syndrome...
Discipline is needed ... and tha
Well My mother Spanked me with a rod and at the store when i was being bad and i am now a wonderful person who loves God and is loving and caring not hurtful at all. :)
Oh yes, another brilliant parent who knows everything. Thank you so much for your amazing words. Apparently you know what works for every child in America. Bravo to you and way to go calling parents ignorant and lazy. I hope that makes you feel important and better about yourself to belittle parents who are trying their best to raise their children. I know your kind. You are the people who have children in the mall, places we all go to have a nice dinner, church, well in public, that are running around screaming and you are the parents saying "if you do that one more time Jimmy I am going to" While your kid is screaming at the top of his lungs. And you expect the rest of the world to just deal with it because Jimmy is expressing himself right now. While you are suggesting others try something else many of you may want to give something else a try. The world is tired of spoiled rotten brats who get what they want without any consequences.
physical force is never okay, I agree its only for lazy ignorant parents. You are just teaching them that using physical force on someone is the right way to get what you want. It is abuse in every shape and form. Its a violation and extremely humilating as well. Can you imagine someone bending you over and hitting you on the butt completely helpless? All you can do is cry. The people who think that is okay are extremely sick and demented.
The only parents who do it is because thsts how they were taught and how they grew up. They find it acceptable but its not.
It doesn't matter how severe the spanking is, leaving marks or not leaving marks. Its still wrong and painful for the child. Psychologically, emotionally damaging not only physically.
If other alternative punishments aren't working you are not doing it correctly.
(P.S.) A mom of three. YOU ROCK!!!!!! :)
In every argument, disagreement, or discussion it is important to recognize the rebuttal. No spanking is not child abuse, however, excessive or over the top spanking can lead to child abuse. This is not to say that every child that is spanked will eventually be abused. Also, every child is different and what works for one child won’t necessarily work for another. Parents must use discretion and evaluate, is the punishment we use the most effective or is there a better way? Additionally it is important to recognize the age group for which spanking is acceptable. Too young and the child won’t understand why the correction was administered, and therefore won’t learn the lesson. Too old and the child or teen will feel humiliated and possibly angry rejecting the correction. Spanking is a controversial topic and the question of “To spank or not to spank†can’t be answered in one word. Yes or No. (Thank you kindly for reading. I would like to hear your views and input.)
I'm 18 years old and a freshman in college. I believe that spanking is complex parenting technique that not all parents are equipped to use. My parents are my two favorite adults in the world! I love them and respect them. I do not fear them. A proper spanking is administered sparingly when the child is deliberately being defiant. In other words the child KNOWS that what he or she is about to do is wrong. The parent warns then gives a spanking, TO A FULLY CLOTHED OR DIAPERED CHILD. I was raised in this fashion and score my parents at 10 out of ten. No parent is perfect, but they did well to always make right any mistakes they made. (Note: This is my experience and my belief. I am sharing my views so that others might better understand why I am in favor of spanking.)
Get over yourselves. I am 40 years old and growing up I was spanked on occasion for things I did wrong. It wasn't on a daily basis but it happened. I have never done a drug in my life. I have never been in jail, committed a crime or physically hurt another human being. I am in the medical field and I love taking care of people. I have respect for my elders and I use words like yes sir and yes mam. Who are any of you to say what is the proper way to discipline another persons child. As parents we should be supporting one another not sitting here calling people names and saying how ignorant someone is for spanking. My 3 children are very different. My 1st child doesn't respond to time outs, taking something she loves, nose to the wall etc. She had to be spanked on occasion. My middle child responds to time out and taking things away. My 3rd child responds to me counting down from 5 to get things done. Spanking isn't beating them to death. I explain to my children what they di
KEEP YOUR PERVERTED HANDS AND EYES OFF OF YOUR KID’S ASSES AND THE UNITED STATES WON’T BE SUCH AN UGLY PLACE. WHAT KIND OF A SICKO WANTS TO SMACK THEIR KID’S ASS?
@Tim you're an asshole
i beat my kids senceless. and they seem to never do whatever they did again. of coarse after they wake up from the sleep of the beating :) they tell the teachers they fell off their bike, good kids
people might as well call child protection services on your low life ass
I learned through these methods to not do these things. When a child learns that by doing something it will create pain, they learn to not do it
whoever said THAT, well, i don't know about you, but i had been ''spanked'' many times and it did NOT help me at all. i became immune to these things and whenever my parent always beat me, i fought back, no ifs and or buts.