Why You Should Spy on Your Kids

Spying on your kids is called parental supervision. When you are responsible for what another does, you can hold them accountable. Parents need to let their children know that they will have to explain why they have expensive items that parents never purchased or who that new friend on the internet is.

I grew up in a more transparent world. Third-generation on the same urban block when my mom had played with the parents of my playmates in the 1930's, it was a given that any misbehavior would result in a knock on mom's door. And mom welcomed that too.

Today one of the biggest dangers our children face is brought right in the door voluntarily. I am referring to an unsupervised computer in a child's room. Computers should be visible at all times.

Recently I had the experience of having my niece cyberstalked and physically attacked by a disturbed young woman with an unexplained grudge. Although we had reached out to her mom, we were met with complete indifference. My brother, a lawyer, hand-carried information that this child had posted on the internet to DA Brown's office in Queens. The child's reign of terror continued until my niece was jumped and nearly blinded.

Does this sound like a child who suffered from too much parental supervision? My family had compassion for a woman with a mentally-ill child. That is not true in all cases, so if you want to keep your house, monitor your child's computer use. Extortion and threats of violence can subject your child to arrest and you to financial ruin.

A friend's father, a conservative Christian, came home to find that his computer was acting strangely. This man had his computer infected with a dialer that was running up huge phone bills calling long-distance multiple times daily. Why? His son, or one of his friends, accessed the computer on the Labor Day weekend, connected with a porn site and downloaded an expensive and very embarrassing virus. Had the man's financial records or banking records been accessed, the result would have been financially devastating. As it was, exterminating the virus cost a pretty penny and undoubtedly led to some harsh words at home.

Another example. I was at the beach one day when a gregarious young boy excitedly told me, a stranger, all about the nice 16-year old girl that he had met on the internet. Because I was unknown to mom and dad and feared that I would be considered a busy-body or worse, I held my tongue but warned the friendly little boy that all was not as it seemed, that grown men could masquerade as children and urged him to discuss this new young lady with his parents. I also urged him to never meet this stranger alone.

"Spying" may save your child's life someday. Too much privacy can kill.