Why Spying on Your Kids is a Good Idea

Many parents engage in a lot of hand-wringing and nervous moaning when they consider spying on their kids. They think it's invasive. They think it fosters mistrust. They think it feels dirty. Well I am going to agree with all of those statements and tell you that you should go ahead and do it anyway. Here's why:

You might just save your kid's life. Did you hear that drugs were found at that party your child went to? Has she denied taking any? In a case like this it is best to make sure. Why? Illegal drugs are not just prescription medications that are simply not labeled. They're completely unregulated. There's nobody out there checking to make sure that joint doesn't have arsenic in it. There's no dosage information on drugs. There's no side effect warnings, drug interaction warnings, et cetera.

If you suspect your kid is involved in drugs, it's time to be proactive. Drug users will lie chronically to hide their abuse. It's part of the addiction. So when do you start searching through your kids' stuff? Here are a couple of loose guidelines: If your kids' friends take drugs, check his stuff. If your kid was somewhere were drugs were, check his stuff.

Of course there are more obvious signs, such as "I love crack" written all over a notebook, bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and so on. These ought to be considered invitations to check through your kids' stuff.

Another time to suspend any right to privacy your child may or may not have is when dealing with mental illness. Have you noticed marks on your child's arms or legs that they have explained as cat scratches or something similar? Your child may be cutting. It's a good idea to check his stuff for razors, knives, box cutters, or any sharp objects.

Does your child seem suicidal? This should also be considered an invitation for intervention. Suicidal individuals are not always aware of the finality of the decision they're making. They see it simply as an escape from pain. If your child is suicidal, you may well be the only one who can step in and help. Things to look for if your child seems suicidal are notebooks, diaries, letters, and emails. Most kids tell somebody they're thinking about suicide before they try it.

But let's say your child's life is not at stake from drugs, mental illness, or some other danger. You should stay out of their stuff at that point, right? Not always. You have to remember that until your child is an adult, YOU are legally responsible for them.

This means that if your child racks up thousands of dollars in cell phone charges, it's YOUR money that will be paying for it. If your child is out past curfew, getting into fights, or hooking up with a friend in ways that are both inappropriate and illegal, YOU will be held responsible.

Social services or child protective services could get called in if your child is a problem. You may have to explain why your child has naked pictures on her cell phone, has been skipping school, or whatever. Does all this sound like fun to you? It's not.

With the potential for so many adverse ramifications for yourself as well as your child, it is your duty as a parent to know what your child is into. Who are his friends? Where does she hang out? Has he been doing his homework?

But perhaps you still don't see the need for keeping a closer eye on your child than he or she might like. If so, consider this: If your child is involved with something really bad and ends up having to go to juvenile detention, a boot camp, or similar institution, they will experience the ULTIMATE loss of privacy. It would be far better for a loving parent to be the one spying on a child's activities than a jaded, unconcerned prison official.