Why it Sucks to Be Pretty

A Tongue-in-cheek Look at What it is Like to Be Beautiful

Susan J., Yahoo! Contributor Network
Aug 14, 2007 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. Start Here."

Contrary to popular belief, being pretty isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, it has its perks (just flash a smile and you generally get what you want), but sometimes I think it's easier to get by in life with average looks.

Before I make myself sound too conceited, I would like to clarify that I was never the pretty, popular girl in school. In fact, I was the exact opposite. I was a mere mouse of a person, with scraggly hair, bad skin, no boobs, and crooked teeth. I was never very interested in cosmetics unless it was a cure-all for my acne. My shy personality was just about as charming as my looks. I didn't go to the movies with a group of friends or watch much television. And of course, my grades were very good; since I had no social life, I studied a lot.

This whole being pretty thing just kind of happened. It wasn't a goal of mine, and I never considered myself pretty or beautiful until a few years ago when I met my husband. In his attempts to woo me, he showered me with compliments. The more he complimented me, the more I believed him and the more beautiful I became. This whole "true beauty comes from within" saying is true. I changed how I thought about myself, and that changed the outside of me.

Now that I'm a knock-out, I'm discovering what a pain it is to be beautiful. I cannot go anywhere without getting stared at, leered at, or commented on. If I'm walking down the street or even just getting the mail from the mailbox, some redneck in a truck will inevitably drive by and whistle or shout at me. I've even tried being outside with my husband, but he's no deterrent. They simply whistle at me and flip him off.

The workplace is fraught with hazards for beautiful women. One time, as I was leaving the building, a gentleman kindly held the door open for me and then proceeded to walk slowly behind me. Later that evening at a social function he confessed to my husband that I have "a nice ass." The other day one of the security guards at work said to me, "No offense, but you have the sexiest walk! Grrrrr!" And he actually growled at me like a ravenous dog. On the flipside, I know I won't need to worry about being rescued from a burning building. All the men would be trampling each other just to be the one to save me.

Pretty girls develop this radar where we can tell when someone is checking us out. Once this radar is developed, it goes off all the time. It goes off around coworkers, the bag boy at the grocery store, the executive driving in the lane next to you in traffic, people you meet at parties, and your husband's male friends (and not just the single ones).

Men say to my husband, "You'd better treat her right!" as they devour me with their eyes. That's because people tend to think that all pretty girls are attracted to abusive men. Not true. Nor are beautiful women stupid. I get that one a lot, too. I was at a party one time where I was pointing out the different items people had brought to eat. I pointed at a casserole dish and said to another woman, "I think that is some kind of dessert." Her husband patted me on the head and said, "Well, duh. But that's okay. You don't have to be smart."

Some women are just born beautiful and don't know it. But that's not me. Since I did not grow up being beautiful and this is all relatively new to me, I don't understand why so many people make such a fuss over me. I wonder if this is what movie stars feel like. At least I can still go out in public and do all the normal things. I like doing normal things. I don't think I'd enjoy being famous.

It's a damn shame to see a beautiful woman with no self-esteem. You know the types. They create the stereotypes by which I am judged. They are the ones who skate by in life solely on their looks, using it to their full advantage, like the girls in Mean Girls. I'm more like Lindsay Lohan, at least how she was at the beginning of the movie. Other beautiful women spend all their time working out, while complaining about how "fat" they are in their size zero shorts. I never turn away a compliment, but prefer to accept it graciously with a "Thank you!" And I don't complain about my trouble areas with others, either.

The worst thing, I think, is how other women tend to avoid women they believe to be prettier than them. It makes it difficult to form meaningful relationships with other women when most of them simply won't talk to you or go out of their way to avoid you. This whole belief is tied in to a poor self-image, and it's quite bothersome. I suffered for many years with low self-esteem and a poor self-image, but I'm not about to make excuses or pity anyone who feels lowly about themselves. I know what it's like to feel less than worthy, and I know it takes a tremendous effort from within to change that mirror. But it can be done! Throw down that ugly mirror you were handed as a child and do the work it takes to rebuild you from the inside out. Then you and I can bitch together about how awful it is to be pretty!

Published by Susan J.

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