Why Super Nanny Can Change Kids in Two Days, and How You Can Do it Without Her

Super Nanny. You can find her on her popular television show charming audiences all over America with her adorable English accent. She changes hyper, screaming children into perfect angels and often saves the parents' marriage as an afterthought.

ABC's website claims, "Jo Frost, as Supernanny, can tame the wildest toddler, soothe the savage six-year-old and get the most difficult child to overcome problems with behavior, sleep, mealtime, potty training and other challenges that have vexed parents around the world for centuries."

How does she do it? She must be magic! A Rocket Scientist? Brain Surgeon? Is the show a hoax?

No. Just three theories used over and over in each episode. Read to find out why you don't need to fill out the application to be the next pleading-for help family on her show.

Theory Number One: Write a Routine & Set House Rules

This is the first thing Super Nanny does when she starts to change a household.

Because you are in your home all the time, you may not realize your routine and rules don't exist, or doesn't look anything like you wish it did.

Super Nanny, and anyone watching her show, can easily see the changes that need to be made. If you take a close look at your day, you can probably figure it out as well.

Write down what your family routine looks like now, and have a family meeting to discuss what you want it to look like in an ideal situation. Make sure every family member has input.

Rules should apply to all household members, even parents. No swearing means no swearing! Children can make the rules, they are more likely to follow a rule they created. Try not to make too many, ten rules are too hard to remember!

Write your routine & rules on a piece of poster board, and put it up on the fridge or wall as a constant reminder.

Just make sure the routine includes one on one time with each parent and child, a sit down dinner time, family clean up time, and wind down before bed time (bath, story, etc.).

It's a routine. Stick to it!

Theory Number Two: Set Up A Token Economy

Make a positive behavior plan, also known as a token economy system.

You want to develop a system where your child earns a token every time they show a behavior you want them to. This way, you can tell him or her what good behavior is, and give rewards quickly and inexpensively every time you observe the good behavior.

In true Super Nanny style, choose something your child loves. Let's say it is trains. Print out a picture online of a train. On the train, write out the behaviors you want to see your child display.

Word them all positively. For example, a poor behavior outline statement would be, "don't hit your sister." A better statement would be, "when your sister makes you angry, go into your room to cool down." It should be very descriptive.

If you observe your child displaying the positive behavior, give him or her a token. If the theme is trains, a token might be a train ticket.

Outline how many tokens, or tickets, your child needs to earn before receiving a larger prize, such as dinner at their favorite restaurant. Bigger prizes will need to be earned more quickly with younger children because of their attention span. Older children can delay the satisfaction a bit longer.

Some tips on token economy systems:

Never take away tokens. Your child has earned them, it would be harmful to their confidence in your system to take tokens away.

Just give constant reminders. "Susie, do you want to earn a ticket so we can go out to eat? Remember to put your dish in the sink after dinner."

Give tokens consistently and immediately. This makes your reward system reliable and effective. The child realizes why they are receiving a token, and they know if they do the behavior they will be rewarded.

Theory Number Three: Removal Punishment

So far, you have a routine where you and your significant other are spending quality time with your children. During that quality time, your children are being rewarded for good behavior.

But, what happens when they do something wrong?

As Super Nanny would say, "you need to make a naw tee spot!"

Naw tee spot, naughty spot. Either way, it is a time out! Their punishment is removal from the activity they were engaged in when the bad behavior occurred.

Designate a chair or a mat in your house as the naughty spot, or the time out spot.

When Johnny bites Susie, tell him he is going to the naughty chair for two minutes (amount of time) because he hit Susie, and it is not OK to hit (reason for punishment). The child needs to understand what the punishment is and why they are getting it.

Be firm, not angry or whining. Be relentless.

If Johnny gets up from the naughty spot before the two minutes is up, gently put him back on the spot until he has served his complete sentence. Let him know he has stayed for two minutes and that is why he can get up. Give him a better behavior choice he can make the next time he is in that situation.

"Johnny, you have been on the naughty spot for two minutes. You may go back and play with your sister now. Next time Susie wins a game, you should congratulate her instead of getting angry."

Really Bad Situations on Super Nanny:

Occasionally, Super Nanny will encounter a special problem such as a child who won't go to sleep.

Her secret here is consistency.

If you tell your child, "you need to go to bed, and I am not coming back to tuck you in" , twelve times, but on the thirteenth time you come back in and tuck her in, your child will call for you thirteen times tomorrow night. Just say, "goodnight Susie". Do not go back in, not even thirteen cries for Mom later.

If done correctly, she won't cry tomorrow. (Or, she'll only cry ten times.)

Potty training? Consistency again.

Consistently put your child on the potty every hour or two. Consistently put your child on the potty after meals. Consistently reward your child for going on the potty. (You may think I need to look up consistency in the Thesaurus, but seriously, this word should be stamped onto Super Nanny's blue suit.)

Oh, and the marriage saving thing? That just comes with a peaceful household and a routine where both parents are equally involved. Set up a behavior plan for yourselves if you want to.

Super Nanny may seem like magic, and we love her. But if you can understand these three ideas and put them to use in your own home, you don't need to pray that Super Nanny will show up to your house in her Mini Cooper. (Am I pushing it if I say just remember to be consistent?)