Why is There Such a Stigma Associated with Stay-at-home Dads?

My husband has been a stay-at-home dad since April of 2006 when I went back to work after the birth of our son. While I was pregnant we had every intention of placing him in daycare so that both of us could continue to work. However, after he was born we just couldn't bring ourselves to leave him with strangers for 8-10 hours a day.

My job was much more stable, it paid more and had great benefits, so if we were going to live off one salary, it only made sense to live off of mine. There are definitely some adjustments that have to be made financially. We've had to tighten our budget by spending less at the grocery store - do we really need three different kinds of cereal - and planning more meals at home instead of eating out. I also take my lunch to work and limit my Starbucks coffee - it's now my special treat on paydays. I'm also able to take public transportation to and from work which saves us a ton of money on gas. And of course we have to sacrifice on life's luxuries - we always have to think, "Do we really NEED this?"

Though it has been difficult, we've managed to make it work and we are happy that our kids are being raised by us, and not some stranger at a daycare center. But it's not all flowers and butterflies. We have to overcome the stereotyping of stay-at-home dads. My husband's family and friends joke about how nice it must be to "sit at home all day long doing nothing". And people I work with asking me, "Has your husband found a job yet?" Or just the looks you get from people when you tell them that your husband stays home to take care of the kids. Would they react this way if the roles were reversed? I think not. Which does not make any sense. In a world that preaches acceptance of others for who they are and not for the color of their skin or sexual orientation, why is there such a stigma associated with a man staying home to raise his kids while his wife goes to work? Why is that such a hard pill to swallow?

Many people seem to think that a man who stays home to raise his kids is lazy, refuses to work, has no motivation and is basically a loser. But yet a "housewife" or stay-at-home mom does not have this stigma attached. A man can proudly talk about how his wife cares for their kids and takes care of their home - why can't a woman be just as proud that her husband has given up his career to care for his kids? Why is a man made to feel ashamed for taking on the role of full time caregiver for his kids?

I know that it shouldn't matter what other people think, but for some reason it does. We should be admired for our choice, not ridiculed. We have a good thing going. Our 2½-year-old little boy is very attached to his dad - so attached that it almost makes me a little jealous. I do truly believe that parents who are allowing someone else to take care of their children are missing out on the greatest experience of their lives.