Why the Turning-Back-The-Clock-Weekend is Always a Big Disappointment

This week, no matter where I traveled I have been asked, "Did you enjoy the extra hour of sleep last weekend?" I swear, the turning-back-the-clocks weekend is like Christmas, the Super Bowl and winning the lottery all rolled into one for some people. Okay, I might sound a bit bitter, but there is a good reason for that: I am bitter. Rarely, has the turning-back-the-clocks-weekend proved to be anything but a big disappointment.

I guess I would enjoy the extra hour of sleep that traditionally goes along with this weekend if my dogs would learn to understand the significance of the event. I don't understand why my dogs do not get it. Animals have a psychic connection to other events. They can tell when earthquakes are ready to quake, tsunamis are ready to roll and volcanoes are ready to burst, but their antennae for nature goes away for something as simple as staying in bed for an extra hour. My dogs still got up at what they thought was 5:30 AM which last Sunday was 4:30 AM. Perhaps in Dogland, this weekend is not about extra sleep but about an extra hour of mayhem.

The second reason why this weekend annoys me is the whole "sleep" thing. Everyone wants to sleep. With this extra hour, I want to have fun. To me, this extra hour should be viewed as a mini-vacation - a chance to do what I have not had time to do. So, my goal this weekend was to do things like get a manicure or a facial. I have been promising myself these treats for months. I even propositioned my husband with an extra hour of "amazing raucous sex". However, he had a head cold with a fever, so he turned me down. He did ask for a rain check. Well, too bad! That rain check comes next year when the clocks go back an hour again. That will teach him to get sick before the big weekend.

Another problem with the turning-back-the-clocks thing: how come not everyone does it? How come Europe doesn't take part in this? I got "Enjoy your extra hour" wishes from a few people across the pond through Twitter. They know about the hour change but don't participate. Is this because of the whole metric system debacle? Since we couldn't handle that system, they don't change their clocks for us? And you know what else? Not everyone in the United States participates either. This completely screws me up. I already have a tough time figuring out time zones, and now I can't tell what time it is anywhere. Do you know there are some towns in the U.S. who refuse to adhere to the turning-back-the-clock thing? The state of Indiana has like 19 time zones. Okay, I am exaggerating, but there are enough time zones that I could never live there. I would never be punctual for anything there. How is this not a national rule? Isn't this a national security issue or something?

What if I decided this year that the Cavanagh house would not change its clocks and we would run on our own time? Well, what would happen is that my husband would lose his job for being late all the time - and well, that is pretty much about it. As a freelance writer, I don't have to be anywhere at any specific time, so no one would give a damn when I did my job. No one would even notice if I fell off schedule or the face of the earth. Suddenly, I feel very unimportant in this world. Oh well, another reason why an extra-hour facial might cheer me up.

Well, this time change thing has the wheels in my brain turning. Yes, I know this could be a dangerous situation, but I might have a good idea here. Since we change the clocks back and forth, why not the calendar? Why not twice a year, give ourselves an extra Saturday. Think of the good this would do. An extra Saturday to go shopping or plan a mini-vacation would give us all a new outlook on life. One extra fun day would spur the economy back to health! And if the extra Saturday twice a year works, maybe we can make it a permanent thing each weekend. How fun would it be to have Saturday A and Saturday B followed by Sunday. I would guess that everyone would benefit physically, mentally and financially. I am going to write my state representative. He will either embrace my idea completely or put me on an FBI watch list. Maybe, I should keep it to myself for a while.