Why Utah Doesn't Deserve a Shot a the National Title, or I (Heart) the BCS! Part 2

So now that Utah has trounced Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, all of the nay-sayers and poo-poo heads who think that a playoff system would "fix" college football are at it again. "Oh, they went undefeated," they say. "Oh, they beat Alabama worse than Florida did," they say. "Oh, they beat a team that was Number One in the country for five weeks and had one of the best defenses in the country," they say. "Oh, they dispelled the myth of BCS-Conference superiority," they say. And yet again, they call for a "playoff" to determine a champion like every other legitimate sport on the face of the planet does.

Well, I say "pish-posh." I love the BCS. It is the single greatest system for determining a champion that there ever was and if you don't think so, then you stink.

Let me "bottom-line" it for you: a playoff system will never work in college football. Why? Because. That's why.

Read the news, reality sucks. Letting a reality-based system like playoffs determine a legitimate champion is like having an election determine who the president should be! It's like believing in some unseen force (just for kicks and giggles, we'll call it "gravity") is responsible for everything staying on the ground as opposed to magic elves who live underground with enchanted vacuum cleaners that suck everything down. I mean, that's just crazy.

Playoffs won't work because to implement one would be too complicated. You'd have to set up a system to determine who's play who and where. Then there's the consideration of what to do with the Bowl games. If we put in a system where I can't see a sub-.500 Big Ten team who got into a bowl game because they're in the Big Ten play North South Westeastern State Tech in the Dr. Ouchfree's Medicated Hemorrhoid Cream Toilet Bowl, I want no part of it.

It is much simpler to have a system of computers select who the best teams are based on strength of schedule, conference affiliations, regularity of bowel movements, the side of the head the quarterback's hair is parted on from 5pm to 9am on the Friday night/Saturday morning before the game with an in-conference rival, the alignment of Jupiter with Uranus, whether or not the Uuloos of Malakhan 5 are at war with the Bagabar Empire from the Andromeda Galaxy at kickoff time, and what the icker from the higher ranked team had for breakfast on the morning of his father's brother's nephew's former roommate's first born child's seventh birthday. Much simpler than lining up 8 teams and having them go at it for three weeks until one team emerges as the king of the mountain. don't you think?