Why Are Victims of Sexual Harrassment Keeping Quiet?

Being at work is not something most people enjoy. The stress and worries are factors of not wanting to go to work and stay home. But what if on top of that you had to sit in an office and listen to someone harass you and feel like you can't do nothing about it?

That person was me, I work at a business where there is mostly men. Now we all know that men tend to talk amongst themselves in very graphic ways and sort of rude too. But when it is directed only to you and about you then that changes everything.

How to tell if you are being sexually harassed?

There are different types of harassment, read these five types of harassment to see if any describe what you are going through.

Gender Harassment: Generalized sexist statements and behavior that convey insulting or degrading attitudes about women. Examples include insulting remarks, offensive graffiti, obscene jokes or humor about sex or women in general.

Seductive Behavior: Unwanted, inappropriate and offensive sexual advances. Examples include repeated unwanted sexual invitations, insistent requests for dinner, drinks or dates, persistent letters, phone calls and other invitations.

Sexual Bribery: Solicitation of sexual activity or other sex-linked behavior by promise of reward; the proposition may be either overt or subtle.

Sexual Coercion: Coercion of sexual activity or other sex-linked behavior by threat of punishment; examples include negative performance evaluations, withholding of promotions, threat of termination.

Sexual Imposition: Gross sexual imposition (such as forceful touching, feeling, grabbing) or sexual assault.

If any of these seems too familiar then you could be a victim of sexual harassment.

It is hard for victims to come forth and speak out about there problem. I was terrified I would get fired if I was to say anything, being that the person involved was with the company for many years. But I gained the courage to take a stand and take control of the situation. I encourage anyone who is going through this to step forward and not be afraid, It is not your fault.
Some people might think it is there fault because they didn't tell the harasser to stop and that it was unwanted, but even so the harasser knows what he/she is doing is wrong.

What are the effects of sexual harassment?
Being sexually harassed can affect people in different ways, and not doing anything about it can lead to many problems such as these:

Psychological Reactions

• Depression, anxiety, shock, denial
• Anger, fear, frustration, irritability
• Insecurity, embarrassment, feelings of betrayal
• Confusion, feelings of being powerless
• Shame, self-consciousness, low self-esteem
• Guilt, self-blame, isolation ( IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! )

Physiological Reactions

• Headaches
• Lethargy
• Gastrointestinal distress
• Dermatological reactions
• Weight fluctuations
• Sleep disturbances, nightmares
• Phobias, panic reactions
• Sexual problems

Career-Related Effects

• Decreased job satisfaction
• Unfavorable performance evaluations
• Loss of job or promotion
• Drop in academic or work performance due to stress
• Absenteeism
• Withdrawal from work or school
• Change in career goals

Tips on what to do

If your harasser sends you emails, don't delete them, keep them in a separate folder for proof later on.

Say NO to the harasser if he starts any conversations that are unwanted, let them know you feel uncomfortable.

Speak to someone in Human resources or read your work manual for more information on what to do in a situation like this.

Try to write down all incidents you have had with the harasser, times, dates etc.

Tell someone about it, another coworker that might be able to help you, or even witness the harassment.

Coming from a person who has experienced this please speak out. Even though the aftermath isn't at all pretty, you still will feel better about taking action and protecting yourself when no one else can. When I spoke about my situation I was so scared about what would happen, will he try to come after me?, will I be fired?, will they believe me?

Well not only did they believe me, they also let the person go. It was hard to deal with because that wasn't my intention to have him let go. When Human resources came to my job to speak to me I had to give details about everything, I had told one of my coworkers about it and that helped a lot. After everything happened and having to go back to work the following day was really hard.

Everyone was talking about me, spreading rumors. No one had witnessed anything so they assumed I had lied, some people thanked me and congratulated me for being so strong. But time has passed and everything is better. If I was to keep quiet I would probably be home on my couch unemployed, I would've quit so I wouldn't have to deal with that person, but I chose the other route and I'm glad I did.

If you need more information visit the website www.eeoc.gov they have many resources and answers to questions you might have. Don't be scared and don't blame yourself, be strong and take action for yourself, its your life and no one should make it miserable.