Why We Choose Unschooling

When my first daughter was born, I just assumed that for her school was an inevitability. After all, that's what kids do, right? They go to school. I figured she'd reach the age of five, and then, when September rolled around, I would buy her a brightly-colored lunch box, a fresh box of crayons, and off she would go.

It wasn't until a few years later that I even discovered that homeschooling was an option. Today, mention homeschooling and you'll likely hear that your listener already knows a family or two who homeschools, but nine years ago, it was a much less known option. I latched on very quickly to the idea of homeschooling. The notion that my daughter could stay with me and I could accompany her on her journey of discovery in life was very appealing. It seemed so wrong to me that after the "magical" age of five, we hand our children over to the "experts" for the majority of the day and then we are much less likely to be a part of those wonderful a-ha moments our children experience as they grow and learn. When my child's eyes light up with wonder and awe at the world around her, I want to be there to see it!

It wasn't long in my research of homeschooling before I came across the term "unschooling." My first exposure was through the book, The Unschooling Handbook, by Mary Griffith, which I checked out of the library. Finding out about homeschooling was mind-blowing enough (you mean children don't have to go to school to learn?), but discovering unschooling was like having blinders removed from my eyes. Not only do children not have to go to school to learn, but learning is just what comes naturally to children and they don't need to be coerced into it at all. Babies learn to talk and we don't give them lessons on talking. They learn to walk even though we don't have walking classes. Why do babies learn to walk and talk? Because the older people around them walk and talk and because walking and talking are useful. When children reach school age, their natural drive to learn about the world around them doesn't just disappear. As kids grow up, they look around themselves and at this whole, wide, wonderful world and they see the things that are useful and they see the things that are interesting to them and they are drawn to those things all on their own without anyone outside themselves sitting them down at a desk and saying, "You must learn this."

As I learned more about unschooling, I discovered the writings of John Holt. Said by many to be the "father" of unschooling, John Holt was a schoolteacher who was becoming disenchanted with the institution of school. As he observed the students in his own classroom, it became clear to him that the methods commonly used in schools actually did more to hinder children's' development than it did to help it. The fear of a failing grade, the fear of looking foolish in front of one's peers, and the fear of disappointing one's teacher or parents by not living up to the school's standards of learning can cause a child to be unable to learn at all. He started off advocating school reform, but soon came to the realization that it was the institution of school itself that was the problem. He came to the conclusion that children learn best when they are left to do so in their own way. A well-known John Holt quote says, "Birds fly, fish swim; man thinks and learns." We just need to get out of the way.

Except for a brief stint in public school for my oldest daughter (who went for part of 3rd grade by her own choice), my two school-age children have been thriving with unschooling. We get to spend every day together, living, laughing, learning, and loving. I don't miss out on their moments of discovery and we all share the joy of life together. Best of all, my kids have never lost any little bit of their love of learning or their natural curiosity. They themselves are in charge of their own education and their own learning. They make all of their own choices when it comes to what they will learn and when. Their learning experience belongs to them and them alone. We wouldn't change it for anything.

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Understanding unschooling sometimes takes a huge paradigm shift because it requires letting go of ideas and "truths" that we've held on to for most of our lives. I don't expect that a 600 word article will convince anyone that unschooling is the best choice for anyone, but if you're intrigued, check out these books to learn more about unschooling:
The Unschooling Handbook : How to Use the Whole World as Your Child's Classroom - Mary Griffith
How Children Fail - John Holt
How Children Learn - John Holt
Learning All the Time - John Holt