Why We Chose Not to Renew Our Wedding Vows

I was so excited at the prospect of getting married. After I got married I would proudly flash my wedding ring. I still take great pride in my marriage and am very happy to be married to my best friend and soul mate. My wedding day did not go without several hitches (no pun intended) though, and the day left me with mixed feelings. I was elated to be married to my husband. But a part of me wished we could repeat our trip down the aisle just to put right some of the things that had gone wrong.

It all started when we missed our flights the day before the wedding and had to be put on standby by the airline. Thankfully, we all made it and could go ahead with the wedding the following day. The next day, I burnt both of my hands on the curling irons while my husband's two sisters styled my hair. My hands were both sore and swollen, including my ring finger. I was afraid my ring would not fit when the time came for my husband to place the ring on my finger. I then argued with my family and there was no guarantee that they would all attend! They did, so that problem was soon resolved. My Dad was running late. He has always been late, but I thought that just this once he might prioritize my wedding day and be there on time! So the rest of us waited for his arrival before we could begin. Then my ring was lost by the man who married us. It was found after the ceremony on the floor!

So as you can see, we had an interesting couple of days, in the lead up to our wedding, and on our wedding day itself. I was left feeling a bit disappointed with how some things had turned out and that is why I started planning for the renewal of our wedding vows before we had even been married a year! My husband wondered why we needed to do this. As far as he was concerned, we were married and our union was complete. So why renew our vows? At the time, I did not see his point of view at all. I must confess, I was only really thinking of myself, although I would not admit that at the time. I thought it was the perfect way to overcome our wedding disasters and mishaps. But now I know that renewing your vows should not be a replacement for the actual wedding day itself.

I have always had a romantic view of love and marriage. But it is only since I have been married that I have come to see past the frills, lace and flowers and take a deeper look into marriage itself. As a child, the concept of renewing wedding vows was not something I paid any attention to. I did not even know what it meant to renew wedding vows until I got older. What I do know that it is becoming more popular and couples are customizing their renewal ceremony to their own personal preferences. Some couples choose to include their children, if they have any, and any other family members. Others, wish to be whisked away to an exotic location and to walk hand in hand on an exotic beach after declaring the renewal of their vows.

I have done lots of research into renewing wedding vows and what I have learned during this time has convinced me that I will not be renewing my wedding vows any time soon, or ever, in fact. I cannot believe how commercialized and widespread this practice has become. It seems to be almost as common and as extravagant as the average wedding! It is not the cost that made me change my mind, though. I changed my mind after a time of deep self-analysis, as well as actually listening to what my husband was telling me. Perhaps I just thought he was being unromantic and difficult at first. But I started to listen more carefully to what he was saying and it made sense. He said that we made our wedding vows in the presence of witnesses on our wedding day with every intention of keeping them until death. So why reaffirm those promises? Did I not trust in the sincerity of the original vows or in him? Did our wedding ceremony mean so little to me that I wanted a "second wedding"? I thought long and hard about these issues that my husband brought up. It was not easy, because I thought I had good reason to renew our vows. I also learned that renewing marriage vows was not a Biblical practice at all. The Bible does not endorse it. It gives plenty of advice for maintaining a strong marriage, but no advice whatsoever about renewing wedding vows. This caught my attention and that is when I decided that it would be better to just work on what we already have rather than trying to prove something to myself or to anybody else. That is essentially the reason why I wanted to renew our vows to begin with. I wanted to prove that we could have a problem free day. We do not have anything to prove to anyone. Our marriage is strong and we tell each other how we feel on a regular basis.

I cannot speak for every couple out there, because there are bound to be many who are really keen to renew their wedding vows and will not agree with my reasoning, and that is fine. I do not expect that. I do not sit in judgment on those who chose to do this. It is a decision that belongs to each couple to make, just as deciding not to renew my wedding vows is my personal decision. I believe that marriage is a solid foundation for future happiness, if it is taken seriously by couples. The outward display is a necessary legal aspect to establishing the legality of the union; renewal ceremonies are neither legally binding, nor are they necessary. Learn to enjoy and appreciate what you already have in your marriage. If you are considering renewing your vows ask yourself why that is. If all you want is a little more romance and for your spouse to publicly express his or her love for you more often, then just tell them! They cannot read your mind. Remember that you are already in a committed relationship. So choose wisely and carefully. I know that my husband and I made the best decision.