Why Do We Forgive Cheating Husbands for Lying?
Some spouses choose to work out any problems within a marriage and those marriages, have both spouses working together to a peaceful end. Those are the marriages where cheating does not occur, the rest of us must face the possibility of a cheating spouse. Should a cheating husband be forgiven, is not even a question in my mind, because he never thought about your feelings or your marriage.
Would you forgive your spouse if he slandered your name in public, and made it appear as if you were despicable or insignificant? This is what he did to gain the other woman's trust, and understanding, he said all kinds of mean, nasty, and untrue things about you and ran your good name into the ground. Would you forgive your best friend for saying your worthless or spread rumors about you, I sincerely doubt you would, so what let a cheating husband do it?
What if he took your money, which was considered necessary for household bills, so that he could by his other woman a nice gift? If your husband takes her out to dinner on money that, you made, and left you home with a package of ramen noodles you would be upset. Your husband is cheating you out of money when he takes it and spends it on his another woman, and it is called stealing by any means. Ask yourself this, if a friend were stealing your money could you forgive that friend?
Why is it so easy to forgive a cheating husband, when they cheat on you? It is so easy to toss away a friendship over slander, when a friend is stealing money or when they lie to us. However when a husband is cheating usually the wife will forgive him when he says it will never happen again. Our cheating husbands should not be forgiven, as we would not forgive a friend for doing many of the same things.
Married women tend to remember and uphold their wedding vows especially the love, honor, and cherish part even though the cheating husband has forgotten those sacred words. I know some women cheat as well, and it is they, who forget those vows, and when those vows are broken so is the marriage.
You should never forgive a cheating spouse, because to do so only gives them permission to take the easy way out of any problem. Marriage is hard, but with couples, communicating about their problems there would be no need to forgive a cheating spouse. Bottom line folks, if you would not allow a friend to get away with it, neither should you allow a spouse to get away with it.
Published by AmyBrowne
Amy has firsthand knowledge about heart attacks and works on a daily basis to prevent further heart attacks for herself and those around her. This single mom's first hand knowledge includes Rheumatism, Asthm... View profile
- Forgive and Love a Cheating SpouseHave you tried to forgive your spouse of adultery only to have it all come back to haunt you later? This happens because we have not forgiven in its completeness. Anyone can say they have forgiven, but what is your he...
Can Your Marriage Survive a Crisis?This article asks you to look at how a crisis can strengthen a marriage and survive, or utterly destroy it.- Signs of a Cheating MateThis article will discuss the signs that anyone can look for in their relationship if cheating is suspected.
- How to Check and See If Your Husband is Cheating on YouFollow these great tips to find out if your husband is cheating on you. Learn how to check and see if your husband is in fact cheating on you and put your mind to ease. Written with insider tips by a man.
- How to Determine If Your Boyfriend or Husband is CheatingThe stress of wondering if your boyfriend or husband is cheating can be a terrible ordeal. This article will provide you with a few simple tips as to how to catch him if he is less than faithful.
- Stop the Infidelity - How to Tell If Your Husband is Cheating
- A Cheating Spouse Breaks at Least 6 Commandments, Possibily More
- Second Chances - is a Cheating Spouse Worth It?
- 10 Signs Your Partner is Cheating on You
- Signs of a Cheating Spouse
- Should You Give a Cheating Husband a Second Chance?
- Confessions of a Cheating Husband
8 Comments
Post a CommentI agree. Kick the cheater to the curb. I saw my parents go through this. I'm sure there could be exceptions, but most cheaters don't change. If he isn't willing to go to counseling, he probably won't change.
I am in the process of kicking my husband of 19 years "ass to the curb". I've had about enough of his lies and cheating. I have discovered, from my experience, that "a cheater will never change..he/she will only change their tactics." My husband is a sociopath and a habitual liar. He should have remained single, so that he could have "bedded down" all the women he desired. He had no right to expose me to HIV/AIDS and others STD's, nor did he have the right to spend our household money on his various "side pieces". In the future, I'm sure he won't be quite the "ladies man" because his "broke ass" won't have the cash or credit to support his philandering lifestyle. I'm making sure that his next home will be in the "POOR HOUSE"! Alimony and Child Support Payments can and will be a BITCH!!
A cheating spouse is a cheating spouse. When they are caught in the act, he or she will tell you they won't do it again-that remark translates into "the next time, they will be more careful not to get caught again."
A cheating spouse only cares about their own gratification and a distant second thought to bringing home a STD and giving it to their spouse.
All I can say is that forgiveness is difficult, but possible. I found out,in the most horrible of ways, that my husband had an affair. To make a long story short, he has no respect for this woman, it is the absolute biggest regret of his life, he thinks she's mentally unstable and stupid and he has no fond memories of her. He actually cried in my arms about it. Trust me, my husband is not a crier. Anyway, our marriage is now better and stronger than it has ever been. Our communication is better than it ever was. We are so affectionate with each other now that it makes our kids nauseous. There is life and forgiveness after an affair. It can actually make your marriage better. Of course the love that brought you together has to be there and both have to be willing to do the work, but it is possible.
to clarify, our daughter's 2nd birthday was 2 weeks ago.
The first time my husband cheated (one week before our daughter was born), I forgave him. Then 2 days before her second birthday when I was out of town on business, he just left her at home alone all night so he could go out on the town and empty our bank account on drinks and prostitutes...
Come to find out, he also cheated on me 9 mos ago...
So, while for some folks, maybe forgiving and staying together may work, for some men, they don't have a reason to cheat, they just do it and staying with them just equates to you diminishing the amount they value you even more. You let them make you a possession and nothing more.
I should have left him the first time, at least then my daughter wouldn't be up crying at night missing her daddy, who obviously didn't give a damn about her safety, destrying her family, and ruining her birthday...
Forgiveness is a must in all relationships regardless of what the situation is. However, consequences are also a must...without sacrificing committment. The one thing that makes a marriage work is committment. Committment comes with forgivenss. It's challenging. If you want an easy life don't bother doing anything with it.
I don't know what I would do faced with this situation. It's a difficult one. I hated that my mother let my cheating father get away with everything that he did. It made our lives a living hell. I often thought she would have/could have had such a better life. But who am I to judge? In the long run, she did what she felt was right.