Why We Need Girlfriends

I don't know about you, but I don't have time for many indulgences. One of them, however, is watching a few select TV programs. One of my favorite shows is "Desperate Housewives."

My favorite character is Lynnette, a super-mom with four children, played by Felicity Huffman. Back in the earliest seasons of the show, Lynnette is a full-time mom with 4 children under the age of 6: She tries her best to keep her chaotic life under control, while attempting to maintain her idea of the perfect mother.

One of the most poignant moments (in either Season 1 or 2) that really hit home for me was when Lynette neared a nervous breakdown (culminating in a dream of suicide) when she realized she was addicted to her children's Ritalin, while all her children were out of control at the same time. In the next scene, her friends find her sitting at the base of a soccer goalpost, in tears. Lynette bemoans how she feels as if she's been a failure as a mother, while her friends reassure her that she really is a great mother. Then her friends each admit to her that they have all experienced days where they just sat at home and cried, when they felt that they weren't able to handle the challenges of motherhood on that particular day. Lynette then asks: "Why don't we tell each other this stuff?" That question really underscored for me the fact that we all NEED GIRLFRIENDS! We really need to make opportunities to get together and "tell each other this stuff."

I believe that it's so important that we take opportunities to share our experiences with each other. We should feel comfortable commiserating with each other, and to realize that we ALL have days that seem out of control, and that's normal. Often, I think many of us unconsciously think that everyone else has their life more "together" than we do. What we need to realize is that while we might think that other people are more "together" than we are, they are likely thinking the same thing about us!

So here are a few reasons I think it's so important that we should have Girlfriends.

Girlfriends aren't afraid to tell you that your "Mom Jeans" are not flattering to your figure.

Girlfriends can tell you that you need a new bra because "the twins are sagging" and you won't get offended.

Girlfriends will help watch your kids at the park and run to catch them if necessary.

Girlfriends don't think twice about offering to pick up groceries, send a care package, or drop off a meal if you're sick.

Girlfriends reassure you that you're a good mommy, even if you let your children drink sodas or eat candy on occasion.

Girlfriends will tell you if they think you're overdoing things, whether it's your schedule or your children's.

Girlfriends DON'T JUDGE you for being who you are or saying what you think.

Girlfriends support each other even if they don't agree with each other. (And they won't be afraid to tell you why they don't agree with you-and no one gets offended).

Girlfriends don't look at you funny or consider you abnormal if you are still nursing your child who's two years old. Or if they do make fun of you, it's in fun, and no one is offended.

You can cry on a Girlfriend's shoulder if you're having a bad day. She'll probably cry with you.

Girlfriends don't hesitate to help their girlfriends who are in need or are having a tough time.

Girlfriends can talk to each other about having children (or having more children). And girlfriends can joke about it with each other without anyone getting offended.

Girlfriends provide counsel and support or just a shoulder when another girlfriend is going through the pain and loss not being able to have any more children.

Girlfriends will "tell it like it is" even if it's painful to hear.

Girlfriends will lend an sympathetic ear when another girlfriend is having marital problems or is going through a divorce.

Girlfriends also tell other girlfriends when they've spent too much time feeling sorry for themselves and that they need to begin taking charge of their lives again.

Girlfriends don't give up on each other, even during the most challenging times.

I'm so very grateful that I have girlfriends both online and in real life.