Why We're Still Interested in Celebrity News

You know that saying about watching a train wreck? That is the allure of Britney Spears, and her fellow celebrity derailments. It is impossible to avoid the media's constant reporting on everything from multiple rehab stints to mundane shopping trips. Magazines, news and entertainment shows and the Internet offer minute-by-minute updates on which feckless young "personality" (the word to use for people who are famous for acts other than recognized talents) will screw up next. And the public eats it up.

Sadly, I cannot even remove myself from this group of people who cannot turn away. It could be due in part to vicarious living. I could never live my life in that fashion, even if I did have the financial means, because I grew up so much differently. Many, if not most, of the acts that garner so much publicity for these starlets are unfathomable to me (driving with your toddler in your lap, filming sex tapes with a boyfriend du jour, engaging in a high-speed chase after an acquaintance's mother). The embarrassment of being publicly outed just once for this type of behavior would shame me to the point of straight and reclusive living. Yet a lot of the celebrities today repeat episodes like these on a daily basis.

How could you not tune in? I struggle with the notion that this media fervor is really a vicious circle of self-fulfilling prophecy. Every time a paparazzo captures a celeb slip-up it fuels a chain-reaction that would probably unnerve the most stable of psyches. More media types are dispatched to dig up (and possible manufacture) the most dirt on the occurrence, the target of the media outlets is suddenly pursued with legions of pushy reporters and cameras, any misstep captured is deemed a newsworthy event, and the public responds with eagerness. How would a "normal" person react to the scrutiny?

Still, it is important to note that there are more celebrities that manage to live most of their lives out of the limelight. Plus, the average human refrains from the type of behavior that makes headlines, which is fortunate, because we'd be a society of hedonistic revelers with a collective death wish. Yes, the media (and the public's unquenchable thirst for a taste of the latest water-cooler fodder) does throw gasoline on the celebrity mishap bonfire. As businesses they'd be fools to ignore it, even in the name of good taste.

Celebrities, however, should probably devote their usual "happy hours" to time spent thwarting the media machines, by hanging out in one of the wings in their spacious homes and catching up on some reading (gasp) or must-see TV. Then, the occasional overindulgence or poor decision would be more likely to get a pass from the public. The majority of us would be hypocrites if we didn't excuse a genuine wardrobe malfunction or a just-cause celebration (Oscar, Emmy, or other) that went a tad overboard. But that wouldn't be nearly as much fun as watching someone who celebrates with malfunction every day, and never learns a thing.