Why We've Faked Orgasms

Do you fake it? According to Everyday Health, "As many as two-thirds of women admit to faking orgasms at some point in their lives."

As Meg Ryan proved in the 1989 romantic comedy "When Harry Met Sally," it's not hard for women to fake orgasms. With men, you know when they're aroused. With women, it's not so easy.

Do we do it to make him feel manlier when we fail to get there? Do we do it because we can't get there through vaginal intercourse, but we're afraid to tell him? Do we just want to get it over with? Why do we do it?

Some women fake orgasms every once in a while. Others put on a show every time.

I've been married for many years, and my husband and I are pretty good at satisfying each other. But I've faked an orgasm on occasion. I'm good at it. In fact, I'm so good at it I should be nominated for an award.

Says artist, author, and PhD sexologist Betty Dodson,"I'm sure there are millions of reasons why women fake orgasm, but I'd put this one at the top of my list: to protect the male ego and sustain her relationship."

What do other women have to say about it?

"I sometimes fake an orgasm because he may not understand why I can't get one. I often don't orgasm from sex; I need other stimulation. If I tell my husband this, he thinks it is a personal challenge to get me to orgasm from sex. Most men want to fix a problem instead of just listening. I do have orgasms from other things, so the fact that I can't have one from sex is not a big deal to me." -- Hope, Galesburg, Ill.

"I don't fake it, exactly, but I don't always make it to the "big bang". When that happens, I just don't say anything. I'm pretty noisy in bed, so he usually just assumes I got mine." -- Jeanne, Denver, Colo.

"I used to because I wanted to make him happy...I didn't want him to know that he wasn't making me feel good. I also had no idea how to achieve the big O with another person, so I just tried to fake my way to it." -- Elizabeth, Minneapolis, Minn .

"I have a boyfriend and have been with him for five years. I have faked an orgasm a few times. Usually there's no need, but occasionally when the mood kind of just disappears, (Aging is terrible!) I want to get it over with. It feels awful to do that, but I've got such a great guy who won't stop 'til I get mine that sometimes it's easier to fake a little one." -- Denise, Louisa, Va .

"I fake it every time. Usually it's just a matter of time and energy. If I wait for him to make me come, it usually takes longer than is comfortable for either of us and I get really self-conscious that he's getting tired or bored. And honestly, I enjoy sex with my husband so much that I don't need the end result to be an orgasm. And anyway, I give myself amazing orgasms because I know exactly what to do. I just feel bad making him work so hard. So I fake it." -- Joan, New York, N.Y.

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