Why Women Have Breasts

Most human males will agree that breasts are one of the most fascinating parts of a human body. Yet most cannot tell you why women have breasts. For all practical purposes women should not have breasts.

Why it doesn't make sense that Women have Breasts

Most people will tell you that the reason why women have breasts is so that they can nurse children. Breasts, however, can actually get in the way of nursing children. The rounded shape of the female breast can cover the mouth and nose of a child while they are nursing and runs the risk of suffocating them. A flat chest with a long, thin nipple is much better suited towards nursing. Therefore, practically speaking, the fact that women have breasts is inconvenient and counterproductive to survival.

Why women do have breasts

Surprisingly, the reason that women have breasts is exactly the same reason that men like them: they are eye candy. Women have breasts because they imitate female genitalia. This arouses the human male because it creates an association in his mind with the sex act.

Since humans tend to copulate face to face, there needs to be some kind of signaling for the male that the female is ready and available to copulate and the fact that women have breasts facilitates this.

The nipple on female breasts becomes hardened when she is aroused and receptive to breeding. This is a signal to help the male decide the optimal time to make his move. The colored skin around the nipple helps to visually emphasize the area. So women have breasts to help signal men that they are ready to copulate.

Another reason why women have breasts is so that a man can decide what kind of a prospective child bearer the female would be. Breasts are made mostly of fat, and as many women who have lost a significant amount of weight will tell you, they unfortunately get much smaller when a significant decrease in body fat occurs. Many men are attracted to bigger breasts because this helps them to identify a woman who is successfully surviving (i.e., not starving) and is more likely to not only bear healthy children but to pass on genes that will allow the children to likewise survive well.

The reason why women have breasts can actually be traced back to our days as primates when we still walked about on all fours. Ape women didn't need to have breasts back then since sex was usually done front to back, or "missionary position". Male apes used the shape and color of a female's buttocks to decide whether or not she was primed for breeding. So humans needed a way to replace the loss of the visual cue of brightly colored buttocks. Today therefore, women have breasts.

Primates besides humans who walk in a relatively upright position also have adaptations to imitate genitalia on the front part of their bodies. Mandrills, for example, have distinctive blue and red faces which are a very accurate replication of their buttocks and genital region.

And so we see that the reason why women have breasts is the plebian same reason that peacocks have feathers, lions have manes and baboons have bright blue butts: women have breasts because they're sexy.