Why Do Women Marry Prisoners?
Love Behind Bars
It is not easy to determine why any women would want to marry someone who is incarcerated for life or waiting on death row. Some say it is a thrill for the women, while others compare the fascination with that of a celebrity obsession. This article will lay out some of the theories of why women seek out love behind bars.
Throughout history, women have seemingly passed up the "good guy" for the "bad boy". This is one reason women may seek out love behind bars. They may feel the inmate is strong and is able to protect her because he is "dangerous". The worse the guy is, the more attractive he may become to a woman. It reminds me of the musical Grease. Sandy is a nice girl who falls for Danny, the bad boy rebel. There is something in the nature of humans which makes rebellion attractive to some. This could explain the physical aspect of the attraction.
The psychological aspect of women who marry men behind bars is very complex. Often times, the women who seek out these inmates suffer from a variety of psychological problems. They are often depressed and have poor self-esteem. They seek out the unconditional love of someone who has less than them to make themselves fell validated. The only problem with women who are depressed or have poor self-esteem is they become easy prey for these men. They become victims of the con artist and by the time they figure out the game it is too late.
Women become fixated with these men because of the popularity the media gives them. As we all know, the media is quicker to release coverage on a serial killer than on good things in the world. When the media makes a celebrity of someone like Ted Bundy or Scott Peterson, women become obsessed with these men in the same way they would be obsessed over a rapper or actor. The difference between women being in love with a killer and a celebrity is they may one day receive a marriage proposal from an inmate, whereas with a celebrity they can only hope for an autographed picture.
Sometimes people would just rather give these women benefit of the doubt for marrying a convicted killer or rapist due to the nature of the crime and the case which was presented in court. A lot of these women sincerely believe these men are innocent, as a result of being fascinated with the case from day one. Also, these women feel sorry for these men and believe that even while they have been sentenced to death or life, they should not remain alone.
These women feel they cannot find love elsewhere in the world or they may feel that it is better to be married to someone who she does not have to deal with everyday at the home. I often wonder why these women would not want the comfort of a husband at home. I could not imagine never being able to be kissed or held by my husband, but for these women, it is more of a connection between two minds rather than the physical.
Whatever the reason may be for women falling in love with inmates, they seem to be happy with the arrangements. No matter how bad the crime, prisoners keep finding someone who loves them in alarming numbers. I believe there will never be a definitive answer to why women choose to marry prisoners, but I do know that those who do make that choice deserve their shot at happiness as well.
Published by Kristina Jones
Kristina Jones hails from Fort Lewis, WA where her husband proudly serves his country. She has a degree in Criminal Justice. She also has two young daughters and enjoys writing about almost anything. View profile
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34 Comments
Post a CommentI think we are all criminals...only some of us have been caught and some of us haven't. Stealing a pen from work makes one a criminal *thief*...hmmm...any takers? Let's not be too judgmental, friends.
I have been friends with an inmate serving LWP sentence. We are not in love and I am happly married. However he has shown more understanding towards me then anyone has in the so called free world.
Everyone is different and should not be judged for the relationships they choose
Nope, Im not into the popularity..I have loved my best friend for years..I only knew him for a few before all went wrong for him, and in he went..My heart has always been facing him through my other relationships, and I now believe there is a reason for it..I love you Nicky, I always have and I always will..and that's the way the freakin cookie crumbles...It's all about US nobody else, (except respect for family), but it is now all US...
Diana..its seems as if you have anger issues..hmm
As far as love just happening, not a choice...rationalization for loving scum doesn't fly or excuse your poor choice.
The women who fall in "love" with prisoners are sick and twisted. So romantic supporting some animal that killed, raped and tortured.
I think you make a very interesting, and unique point about relationships with inmates fulfilling possibly more of a mental need, than a physical one. reading your article reminds me there are many types of relationships aside from conventional expectations. There are probably different kinds of people who get involved in these relationships - the woman who is drawn to a celebrity offender is very different from a woman who is set up, or a woman who just happens to fall in love. I also like that while you point out psychological weaknesses leading to these attractions, this isn't your only criteria. After all, we are all wounded to one extent or another in this world! Anyone who thinks they can 'choose' who to love should try to force themselves to love someone as an experiment!
One thing to add here: nobody "choses" to fall in love with someone, it just happens. So for that, its not a matter of choice but heart cos you cant chose who you love and who not. Certainly there are reasons ffor why this happens to some and not to others. There is nothing fascinating about, its just the way it is. And when you find it perplexing I must ask: whats perplexing and fascinating here. I just can say I find it perplexing, amazing and fascinating how you got your therories this is kind of funny to me. And cheeky too. Probably you are that sort of people who would drop your husband/wife in a hearbeat asap he/she goes to prison no matter for how long or for what just to keep a so-called "peaceful world" ad tell your neighbors a fat lie about why you left your spouse so they wont ever know the truth what kind of person you are. If it makes you happy tho then so be it but leave us women alone who chose another way and stick by our husbands no matter what.
It is horrible ridiculous and just incredible how some of you here dare to lump all the women together and judge them without even knowing them or their men and think you know it all, these people and why they do what, who gives you ANY right to do that and think you own the truth. In fact you know NOTHING. You cant speak here about this subject when you have never walked into our shoes. Get yourself into it and then speak up. Othewise: SHUT UP!!!
stuff just too well, cos have seen it a few times to often. Why dont they never post about successful stories but negative only. You can meet a good or bad man on the outside - you can meet these in the inside too:there is no black and white only. So now that I have said it all I feel a lot better, like it or not.