Why Won't My Kids Play with Their Toys?

"I'm bored." "There's nothing to play with." These remarks are like nails on a chalkboard for parents who look around at a toy-strewn house wondering if they should make an appointment with an optometrist. Before you blow your top or your wallet on a new pair of glasses, let's take a look at two underlying reasons why your children may be claiming to be the kings and queens of Boredom Land.

Problem #1: They have too many toys. Yes, you read that correctly. One reason your children may be claiming to be bored is because they have too many toys, not too few. Children live in a sensory rich world. Things that recede into the background of our field of vision, are front and center in their eyes. Imagine if you traveled to a new country with a completely different landscape, language and culture. Your brain would have to kick it up a notch for you to take in all that is around you. It is a lot of work. That is why we are often tired after a vacation to new and interesting places- we have given our brains a workout. Your child is living in a world that is full of new sensory and experiential information every day. Too many toys, clutter and general disorganization can contribute to a system overload and subsequent shutdown. If we think their claim of boredom is an accurate description of their situation, we may purchase more toys, in effect contributing to the underlying problem.

The Solution: Purge, donate, throw out, organize, put away. All of these verbs will help you become a "boredom buster." Look with a new and critical eye at the toys you have. What have they outgrown? What is broken beyond repair? What was a mistake to buy in the first place? If they don't play with it every day, box it up and put it away. Shelving in a basement or a closet can make a great staging area. Every day or every other day, bring out 1-2 toys (or set of toys) to the playing area of your home. Watch as you see them rediscover a whole "new" set of toys.

Problem #2: They have mostly "one-note" toys. As the sheer number of manufactured toys increases, the amount of creativity needed to play with them seems to have decreased. Look around at the toys in your house. Do they have only one use? Can your child use his or her imagination to create a different dimension to the toy? Does the toy dictate the type of play or does your child? As children accumulate more and more toys that tell them what to do in their play time, their ability to use imagination, creativity and leadership in their own play is hampered.

The Solution: Evaluate the toys in your home. Do you have toys that encourage imagination and exploration? Do most of their playthings require batteries and an inch thick instructional manual? Here are some suggestions for creativity-building alternatives: kitchen sets, doctor kits, dress up clothes, flashlights, blankets (for forts!), blocks, matchbox cars, arts and craft supplies, empty cardboard boxes of all sizes, and balloons (for indoor volleyball or catch). Your child may need some help getting started. Like an old motor that hasn't been started in a while, you may need to give their creativity a few cranks before it can start on the first pull. Don't give up. Once you get them running, they will be off in a world of their own.

The next time you hear, "I'm bored!", instead of reacting with indignation, see it as a call for change - a change over which you, the parent, actually have some control. Now that's something worth getting excited about!