Why You Won't Meet Mr. Right in a Bar

I read an interesting article today titled "Can You Meet a Nice Guy in a Bar?" My answer is unequivocally no you cannot.

In my previous life I was a bartender for 6 years and during those years I learned a lot. I saw a side of both men and women that I really didn't want to see. I have to admit that I was insanely naive before becoming a bartender. I believed in happily ever after, staying faithful, family and making marriage work. These are all oxymoron's to what I call the typical "bar sitter."

During my first few weeks my customers were shocked when I told them I had been married 20 plus years and all of them to the same man. They seriously thought I was pulling their leg. As time went by, many of the male "regulars" took this as their own personal challenge to see if they could get me to stray. It never worked. Why would I ever consider losing a relationship with a man that worked hard and always put his family first, for a man that prefers sitting at a bar to being home with his own family?

While I made some wonderful friendships during those years, I also saw the dark side of alcoholism and relationships.

I saw men married for upwards of 20 years bring their girlfriends in and drink and fondle each other all night; and then bring their wife in the following night. I watched married men that were considered leaders in the community, come in and then leave with their "one night stand." I watched men with young children at home sit at the bar for hours on end with no regard for their wives or children waiting at home. In fact, I watched men with families calling nonchalantly turn their phones off with never a second thought. I cannot tell you how many times I heard "just one more and then I will go home." Problem is the last drink never came until I kicked them out and locked the door at closing time.

I watched relationships explode into domestic violence when a significant other would stop by the bar, and see what was really going on.

Misery loves company and this is so true for men (or women) that regularly visit bars. A large percentage of them are alcoholics and by being a bar "regular" they can indulge in their illness and have their enabler buddies drink with them.

I guess there could be that one in a million nice guy that you might meet by chance at a bar, but the odds are definitely against it. You won't find Mr. Right at a bar, but you will find Mr. Wrong, and he's waiting to make his move.