Why I Won't Be Teaching My Child to Read

Last year, I had to go to the baby superstore for some little thing, I don't remember what it was. My daughter's first birthday was approaching, so I decided to peruse the toy section for ideas. There was a shelf of videos there and as I passed by these with little interest, I became the target of another mother with a daughter a couple of years older than mine. She pointed out all the learning videos for babies and asked if I was using any of them with my child. "I can't recommend them strongly enough," she told me, then went on to brag (endlessly, it seemed) about all the letters, numbers, planets, shapes, fruits and other assorted elements of vocabulary that her daughter had been able to identify by the age of two. "I watch these with her," the mother reported, "and she learns so much. She's just an amazement to everyone we meet."

Yes, I can see that. I am amazed too. I am amazed at how placidly this little girl sits in the cart while my child struggles in my arms, anxious to get down and explore. I am amazed that any parent would encourage an energetic toddler to sit for hours in front of the television. I am amazed that a child who is barely old enough for pre-school is already overweight. Have I said enough yet? Wait, though, there's one more thing: I am amazed that anyone would brag about being such a phenomenally lazy parent. Whew! There, I think that about covers it.

We're quickly becoming a society that is more interested in faking an intellect than fostering one. Can the dog fetch the ball? What a good dog! Can the child recite the alphabet? Oh, she's so smart! Well, no she isn't, she's just like the dog that fetches the ball: well-trained. She has a few good tricks up her sleeve, but has anyone bothered to inspire her natural curiosity? We pummel letters, numbers, shapes and colors into our children's heads, forcing them to memorize and then regurgitate their knowledge before others so that we can bask in the glory of their inherited intelligence. We stand in the way of their (rather messy) explorations so that our clean home, with its spotless upholstery and crayon-free walls, can continue to compete with that of the Joneses who come for playgroup every Tuesday morning. We harangue their minor omissions of social grace so that all the world can see what a polite child we have. Hmmm... do I detect a trend here? It kind of looks like how we parent is more about our own social needs than our child's intellectual ones.

I'm not saying that kids should never watch television. The practical fact is that if you have a little climber like I do, it's safer to have the television on while you do the dishes then to just let them roam -- at least it will distract them long enough to keep them from trying to jump into the ceiling fan. However, I don't think it's a good idea to pin such an exalted status on these learning programs for kids and I especially don't think it's a good idea to bludgeon your child's brain with them. Kids are curious and what better arena for learning than life itself? Forcing them to focus so heavily on just the few things presented in these videos will only serve to narrow that curiosity and over time, it may even lead them to hold the very negative opinion that their world is not worthy of their explorations. Let them play.

Unconventional as it may be, I will not be teaching my child to read. I would rather share my love of reading with my child by sharing the joy, not the skill. I will read to her in a way that she enjoys, in an environment that is pleasant and at times that she is receptive and the rest of the time, we will explore this big, beautiful world together, even if all that means is that we're simply outside splashing in puddles. If she picks some impressive tricks on her own, so be it. My bigger hope is that she will decide that learning is fun, not that Mommy needs her to show off again.