Why Would a Guy Buy Pantyhose?

Hi, I'm a package of Futuro Ultra Sheer Pantyhose. I have been waiting at this Rite-Aid store aisle for I don't know how long. I wish some nice lady shopper would come along and take me home with her.

Oh wait! Someone is coming. It's a lady shopper. Oh boy! Over here! Over here! Pick me! Pick me! No not that other brand! Hey come back! Where ya going! Awww shucks!

Wait a minute, here comes someone else. Awww! it's a guy. Oh well. Hey wait...he's reaching for me. Hey buddy what the heck do you think your doing? He's putting me in his cart. He's taking me to the checkout. I'm being scanned (beep) and placed into a bag-oh no...now I can't see what's happening.

We're moving out into the parking lot, I think. OW! I think he just threw me into the backseat of his vehicle! I hear an engine starting. We're moving again. Where are we going?

Why would a guy buy pantyhose?

We've stopped moving. I hear a squeaky car door open. He's grabbing me and the bag. I hear footsteps and we're moving again. I think we're going up some steps. Wait...I hear voices:

"Hey sweetheart. Here's the pantyhose you wanted me to pick up for you."

"Oh William, that was so sweet of you to do that. I think I'll try them on, right now."

Futuro Ultra Sheer Pantyhose

Phew! That's a relief. I can't stand hairy legs. Hi again, I'm back. Let me tell you more about myself:
I am ultra sheer pantyhose with brief cut lace and mild compression. I come in a yellow package and I am priced at $14.99.

I'm made of ultra sheer materials for that natural look. I'm soft and silky for that ultimate comfort and fit. I have a brief cut lace panty design. I come with enhanced toes with run guards and reinforced heels for maximum durability. I also have a wide comfortable waist band.

I am size large and I fit women with the following descriptions:

Height 5'2" (157cm), 165-200 lbs (75-91kg)
Height 5'3" (160cm), 165-200 lbs (75-91kg)
Height 5'4" (163cm), 155-190 lbs (70-86kg)
Height 5'5" (165cm), 155-190 lbs (70-86kg)
Height 5'6" (168cm), 145-180 lbs (66-82kg)
Height 5'7" (170cm), 145-180 lbs (66-82kg)
Height 5'8" (173cm), 135-170 lbs (61-77kg)
Height 5'9" (175cm), 135-170 lbs (61-77kg)
Height 5'10" (178cm), 135-170 lbs (61-77kg)
Height 5'11" (180cm), 135-170 lbs (61-77kg)

Made in the Italy

The Reviewer's Point of View

I think this brand of pantyhose looks mighty fine on my lady friend. I have never noticed any runs, holes, rips or tears.

My lady friend thinks I bought the pantyhose for her, but I really bought them for me. You see, when I see her step out of her red convertible and she's wearing Futuro Ultra Sheer Pantyhose, my face turns flush and my heart skips a beat.

When I take her out for the evening and she's wearing those ultra sheer silky pantyhose along with her short tight-fitting spandex dress, I feel like I am the envy of all men-that's important because man does not live by bread alone if you know what I mean.

"Oh William...I'm ready for you..."

Excuse me...but I am wanted in the parlor...