Why I Write: Trying to Understand Myself

I've heard many authors and teachers tell me that in order to be a skilled writer, you need to read a lot. That's easy for me, because I love reading. It took me only about a week to finish the last Harry Potter book, and when I get hooked on a book, I literally get hooked. I'd miss meals and neglect responsibilities to know what happens next in a book I'm reading. I'm a very fast reader, though I can see that my comprehension suffers because of it. Writing this out, I see that this might be why I concentrate more on plot in my short stories rather than character development. I am beginning to see that I read books to learn the stories, not necessarily all the details of what's happening, but to understand the main gist of things. I guess it's like saying I would prefer Cliffnotes for stories instead of reading the whole book (which I don't do). So why do I write? I'm not sure. Most of my friends don't even want to read anything that I write, because, lets face it, this culture doesn't like to read anymore.

Being in English classes at CSUN, it's like a different world. People talk about books they're reading, for "fun" and not because it's for a class they're taking. Outside of these classes, I don't meet people who read for the heck of it. In my other classes, people are too busy to read, or don't enjoy it, or would rather watch television. I work with kids on an almost everyday basis, and it's very rare to come across a student who truly loves to read. It's interesting to note that these are usually the students that need the least amount of help academically.

So why write anymore, if it's not in a blog, or class? If there's anything that would make it even harder for a student to make a break in the writing industry, it's a decrease in demand for books, which I think will happen in the near future, as the current generation slowly becomes replaced. I've heard this is not the career to pursue if you intend on having a financially secure future. So with all of this against writers, is there something still there worth writing for? If it's not guaranteed money or fame, or even a reliable audience, what is it?

Stephen King once said that he writes because he couldn't picture himself pursuing anything else, and writing was the only thing he could imagine spending his life doing. Maybe there is something in a select few in this world that drives us to write, even if no on appreciates it. I think about all of the famous authors and how they must have been rejected by publishers numbers of times before they wrote their breakout piece of work. Or maybe the bad grades they received on stories they wrote while studying in school. What made them persist?

And then I think about the number of writers who went through the same rejections and bad grades, but never were able to write good enough to get their name out there. This number is probably a lot bigger than the number of the successful writers. Why is it that these two groups are so different in success? Luck? Did the famous ones get lucky and find exactly what people wanted to read? They hit the nail right on the head, and then hit it again and again by writing sequels and sequels?

So maybe I write because I hope that I am in the category of writers who will make it successful. But if I don't, no big deal. Writing has never been my main passion, becoming a successful author is not a long term goal I have in mind. If I fail, I won't take it too hard.

For now, I write because I like it. Maybe that's all it comes down to. We write because we like it. Like readers. Or basketball players who love what they do. Or anyone with a job they enjoy. If we write to please others, we'll never be happy. People will always expect more and more from us, but if we write for ourselves, and meet and conquer our own writing goals, nothing else should make us happier. It reminds me of the recent Disney movie, "Ratatouille." The main rat had to continually try to be a rat to make his father happy, while at the same time had to perform as a hidden chef to make all of the humans happy. However, he was so busy doing all this he totally forgot about trying to make himself happy. When he was able to be a true chef in the kitchen, the rat finally found what really made him happy and pursued it, even when the restaurant got shut down because people didn't want to eat food prepared by a rat.

I write because it makes me happy. When I construct these plots and create amusing characters, I find this joy and happiness that my friends don't share in. For now, I'll write because of this. Someday, if I find my writing ceases to make me happy, I'll know I'm in the wrong business.