Why Are Younger Men Attracted to Older Women?
The allure comes in several forms:
1. Older women are taboo; taboos are attractive
It's a cultural taboo for a younger man to date a mature woman. It's usually the other way around: an older male with a younger female.
Much like the forbidden fruit, older women are theoretically off limits for younger guys. While it may be uncommon for a 21 year-old man to date a 31 year-old woman, it's certainly not illegal. People would probably view the interaction as a novelty.
2. Mature women make men feel more comfortable
Young women have less experience with men and tend to be less stable in general than older women. Men like women who make them feel comfortable, emotionally.
Also, as far as sexual maturity goes, women tend to peak in their late twenties, while men peak around age 18.
Young women may have hundreds of men chasing after them; this makes a young man feel the pressures of competition from other males.
Older women offer an alternative. It's nice to feel attractive; in the eyes of an mature woman, a young man may be a very attractive object.
3. Older women may be hunting for younger guys
There is a class of women known colloquially as "cougars", these women are typically professional, attractive, and earn middle-class incomes without the help of a man.
"Cougars" are women who may have been through a rough divorce and want the fun life of a single. "Cougars" tend to actively seek younger men, either at bars, on the internet, or in the work place.
4. Young men do not have much experience with women
Young men may simply not know what to expect with women. The rules of dating and relationships may be new territory to explore; it's helpful to have someone with experience. It's certainly nice to have a "take-charge" kind of women as a partner.
People tend to want what they cannot have, or should not have. Mature women represent an unfulfilled fantasy for many young men. Many men have sexual fantasies about professional women, such as teachers, librarians, doctors, and authority figures. Dating an older women provides a real-life solution to such fantasies.
On the other hand, most people see less of a problem with older men dating younger women. Younger women are viewed as "trophy wives", "gold-diggers" or even "home-wreckers". The taboo of an older woman is a convoluted artifact of a patriarchal culture.
Fundamentally, human beings seek pleasure: if you've seen "The Graduate", you'll know that older women dating younger men tends to be a short-term experience. It's fun while it lasts, but most likely, ephemeral.
Published by Aster C. Lilly
Aster C. Lilly is a freelance writer living in Chicago, IL. He has a complex background and a working knowledge of hundreds of subjects, most of which are interesting. View profile
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104 Comments
Post a Commenti'd like to add to my comment earlier.my wife told me later long after we was married she said to herself. the day i meet her. she wanted a man like me is what she thought as i walked into her house to some some work. and she told me thats she never felt that before.and when i finished , i told her there was a couple other things that she might want to have done someday down the road and i didn't know she was a doctor til i went back the second time to do the other things, and as she handed me a check she looked into my eyes and i thought she like me and she told me she worked weird hours and she like to buy me dinner or make me dinner , and shortly after we had that dinner we was together and god it been great. she told me she knew she was going to marry me she thought the first time we meet i never felt it but i knew she was very nice.
i married a woman in the early 70's that is four years older than me, and to this day i still sometime wonder how i did it she a doctor, and im was a elctrician. i did some work for her and the rest is history.. today she is sixty six years old and look like she 40.and she not had any work done on herself that i know of and now where both retired, after raisen three good kids, and now it just her and me and our two pups, and yes i still chase her around the house sometimes, we still very much in love. age means nothing i think unless it bothers one or the other.
I think the tone of the article is demeaning to women. I think the term and hype of "cougars" is seriously over done. People like other people for a variety of reasons. If we knew the triggers of attraction we could bottle it but it is more mysterious than that. If you say you only are attracted to people of X age, height, weight, hair color...you are limiting yourself and may miss out on the love of your life.
I am a 43yo woman, reasonably attractive, funny, smart, have a great career etc. Men of all ages approach me and I find something interesting in most of them and am not restricted to age or "type".
Be open to experiences and don't think it is always about a "relationship". Sometimes it really is just about sex. And there is nothing wrong with that as long as everyone involved is clear on what's going on.
I am thirty years old and my girlfriend is fifty. I have been seeing her since 19 and it's been wonderful. For many years, all we did was have sex. I think both of us were somewhat permiscuous, so the crazy and seemingly unending intimacy provided a much needed outlet for both of our needs. This provided an excellent foundation for our relationship, and we're very close. I only can hope that other people have what we have.
I'm attracted to the appearance of an older woman. This is now changing as I approach 40 - so now I'm attracted to women in my age group. To me, it has nothing to do with a "taboo". It's all about appearance.
When I'm in my 60's - I'll be attracted to younger women in their 40's.
noway, if u say old women can't compair to young women, why in the wrold would u think a Russ. young woman would want u??Money? Old is Old man or woman. I don't think young or old would want to date u . u r way to hung up on looks. must be u have nothing to give other then that.
You know as long as i can remember I've always been more attracted to women older then me, and some of these cougars 42+ are just amazing looking i would love to start a relationship but it seems difficult for me I've sent 2 women a message but i got no response, and its been 8 days, I'm using cougared and international cougars.If you need help like me finding your partner.
You know as long as i can remember I've always been more attracted to women older then me, and some of these cougars 42+ are just amazing looking i would love to start a relationship but it seems difficult for me I've sent 2 women a message but i got no response, and its been 8 days, I'm using cougared and international cougars.If you need help like me finding your partner.
making her own happiness her own reaponsibility and priority, instead of waiting around on others to do something for them to make them happy,is true sexiness.
Thisarticlewasdemeaningtowomeneverywhere.Iwouldnotconsiderawomaninher30sacougar...thattermisgenerallyreservedforwomenover50whodateyoungmen.Womenpeaksexuallyintheir30s.Womenintheir30s,40sandsoonalsohavehundredsofmenchasingafterthem...itsjustthattheyaremoreintimidatingbecauseoftheirstreetsmartssomenstopchasingthemthesameway.Themenchasingthemarealsoyounger...Ithinkthatolderwomenaremorecomfortablebeingalone,notneedingsomeoneelsetobetheretostroketheiregoortofeelcomplete.TheyfocusonthequalityofrelationshipsthattheyDOhaveinsteadoftryingtheirhardestdayandnighttobevalidatedbystrangers.Wometendtoexcelinthisarea,especiallywhentheyreachacertainmaturity.PerhapsthatIneedtobevalidatedbyyouvibeiswhatimmaturemenseeasalluringorsexy,butamaturemanwilltellyoudayandnightthatawomanwhoknowherself,knowswhatshewantsandismakingitherownprioritytofulfillherownhappinessinsteadofwaitingaroundforsomeonetomakethemhappyistruesexiness.