Wife Swap: These Families Need More Than Just a New Wife and Mom for Two Weeks!

As a fan of reality TV, I find that Wife Swap does hold a certain magnetism for me. However, I am truly concerned about the sanity of some of the dysfunctional family members I see on the show. Before I give examples of that, I do want to stress the main point of this article. What attracts me to the show in the first place is seeing people change their lives for the better. That is the whole hook of the show; the viewers feeling "good" about seeing someone learn a lesson, having their eyes opened, and making their lives better, especially for the children involved. I think that is what is being passed off as the point of the show. However, if that were truly the goal, then there are some definite ingredients missing in this stew.

Let's walk through the show and find some flaws. First, note that the families chosen to be on the show are truly dysfunctional in some way. Some are either obsessed with adherence to rules that make their families "perfect" (such as the health and exercise families who insist on their children drinking nasty vitamin goo drinks, taking handfuls of vitamins, strict diet and exercise routines, and no free time allowed) or so far away from the norm that we are shocked at what we see (such as the family who insisted that all children sleep on mattresses on the floor along with the parents and were not allowed to have friends outside of the family). It would make sense that people so (fanatically) sold on their unique ideas of parenting would need to be treated very gently and carefully to be convinced to change.

I do like that the two swapped wives arrive at their "new" homes when no one is there, walking through the house and then reading the manual written by the "real" wife, which describes how she runs her home. That part is actually well-planned, allowing the new wife to become mentally prepared for what lies ahead. Now shouldn't this be a two-way plan? Why aren't the family members briefed on their new mom ahead of time? Wouldn't that be psychologically beneficial? Oh, but that might not make good TV, reducing the number of conflicts. Oops. Forgot how TV worked just for a minute there.

During the first week, the swapped wives must abide by the rules of the family and try to participate in the missing wife's routine as closely as possible. This is always interesting to watch, and it normally goes pretty smoothly. However, when the second week arrives, the new wife is allowed to make new rules and any changes as she sees fit. This, to me, is where there is a breakdown if the goal is to have these families learn from each other. The swapped wife often enters the rule changing discussion in a hostile and/or superior mode. She makes inflammatory remarks such as, "It's time you started acting like a man" to the father or "No more sports for you" to the kids.

There should be a psychologist on staff to tutor the swapped wife on how to make suggestions in a less aggressive way. Too often the children stomp out or burst into tears while the husband is muttering about how he will NOT do this or that and "he ain't gonna make his kids do it, neither!" Someone needs to remind the families that they agreed to be on this show! Perhaps they need to be told that they must cooperate or they won't be paid! Of course, it would cut down on the drama, but I think everyone would learn much more in the process, and isn't that the goal of the show? What? It's not? The viewing audience wants drama? Well, I don't think all viewers want it as much as some think. Extreme Home Makeover is a "feel good" show, and no one is tricked into arguing or fighting it, yet it maintains a huge viewing audience!

Finally the two husbands and wives reunite at the end and meet each other for their "table talk." Again, a psychologist is needed to explain that they should always begin their talks with the positive side to the situation they found in each others' household. I am not a psychologist, but c'mon! Common knowledge! Instead, they often "go for the throat" and begin the conversation by blurting out the worst part of their experience. "You're husband was a lazy child and just awful to me!" Several women have barely greeted each other, then said, "Your house is filthy and reeks with horrible stench!" or something similar. This is NOT a good way to begin friendly communication.

No matter how much I want some of the above improvements to take place, I can't seem to stop myself from watching this show. It has a bit of "Jerry Springer" flavor to it, which I try to avoid due to the bad taste that show has left in my mouth, but Wife Swap keeps me returning to see if some of the dysfunctional families will learn to improve their lives from being on the show. Hope springs eternal.