Will You Buy a "Smellavision" Set?

Whether it's true or merely another internet urban legend, rumor has it Sony is developing a television set that can emit odors as well as pictures. Apparently, the TV would emit ultrasonic frequencies that active the brain's sense of smell. It is, naturally, dubbed "Smellavision."

The idea may seem far-fetched at first, but is it really? Tens of thousands of patents of questionable validity are issued every single year for far worse ideas. Of course, just because it gets issued a patent or goes on to become available for consumers to purchase, does not mean that smellavision will be in everyone's home.

I imagine a fair number of people would buy a smellavision set for the sheer novelty, but would they really use the feature regularly? More importantly, would users who purchase smellavision have the ability to dictate which smells would be allowed and which would not? Selectivity, it seems, would be a hugely popular feature to have on any smellavision set.

Now, for some programs and commercials, smellavision could actually be a pleasant enough experience. For example, it might be nice to get a whiff of what's cooking on the Food Network, as long as the menu didn't include something noxious like Liver & Onions. I love the scent of fresh laundry, so for me, Downy Fabric Softener or Tide detergent commercials would be heavenly. A lot of people presumably might enjoy the gritty experience of watching a football game while being able to smell the sweaty exertion of their favorite team.

Nevertheless, for every pleasant experience the advent of smellavision would bring, there are probably a hundred bad ones. Here are just a few, and please feel free to add your own ideas in a comment:

*Fear Factor. Can you imagine being able to smell the putrid things the contestants are asked to eat or drink?

*McDonalds, Wendys, Taco Bell and Burger King commercials. How much weight would we all gain after sniffing that addictive french-fry odor or getting a whiff of a big, juicy burger?

*News stories about fires, toxic waste cleanup, sewer spills, etc.

*Cat and dog food commercials might wreck a few TVs if your pet thinks the TV is the new "person" responsible for feeding them their Gravy Train. Likewise, kitty litter commercials would not be enhanced by smellavision.

*Commercials for air fresheners, plug-in deodorizers, perfume and cologne. We're bombarded daily by enough of these headache inducing odors daily, do we really need to smell them in between our weekly fix of Survivor and The Amazing Race?

*Flesh-eating zombie movies like Night of the Living Dead or I Eat Your Skin

*Coffee commercials would send my Starbucks Caramel Macchiato craving through the roof!

*TV shows like Crime Scene Investigation, Special Victims Unit, etc. or shows with burning-rubber car chases.

*National Geographic specials exploring swamps, bat caves, etc.

*The "farting scene" from the movie Blazing Saddles. Need I say more?