Will You Ever Find True Love?

You're getting older and you're still looking for Mr. Right. You're starting to think that maybe you've been too picky all these years and you're getting ready to settle. Before you go and marry the next guy who walks through the door take a good hard look at your list of "must haves" and pare it down but don't throw it out.

Unrealistic expectations may have resulted in your current state of singleness but abandoning the list will surely lead you to a life with Mr. Wrong. So let's take a look at what should stay and what should go.

If money is on your list consider that money is a serious variable. It comes and goes like the wind. You want someone who has the potential to come back after a setback. So that means they have an education or a trade and have a history of being gainfully employed. If you were looking for 'old' money forget it. They lost it all with Madoff.

You've got to be sexually compatible. There is no right number of times a week you should be having sex. But if one of you wants it twice a day and the other wants it twice a month, you have a real issue here. Don't play it down. Libidos don't change very much even as a person ages if they remain healthy. What you see right now is what you will have. And if you take a poll among your friends to see what they think of your choice then remember it's you who has to live with this person. Mates do not get chosen by an opinion poll.

You don't have much to say to each other and you always feel like you're pulling teeth to get your mate to talk. If you are assuming that when you are sharing a life together they will have more to say forget it. Some people care to discuss things and some just want to ignore them. Communication is as important as sex and money. People talk "at" each other instead of "to" each other. Real communication takes two volleys back and forth. You say something, they say something in return that makes sense and shows they heard what you said and then it goes back to you again and something changes or is reconsidered. If it stops with a comment, without any action, you haven't really communicated. So if you are dating someone who never seems to hear you or someone who never seems to pay any attention to what you are saying you are going to be talking to yourself for the rest of your life. That's when a marriage starts feeling very lonely.

Today you can find out tons of stuff about someone on the internet. You are not snooping. Do it. What you find may help you to make up your mind. People who have something to hide will hide it. Don't be naive and don't be trusting. Get real. Find out who your darling is.

If you're planning on having children watch your beloved with other children. If they don't like them now they are not going to like them later. If you think they will like kids more when they are their own it's extremely unlikely. People who like kids enjoy being around them. But this is one that can change. Because sometimes when a person matures they develop parental instincts they never expected to have. But I wouldn't want to count on it happening if having children is an important thing to you.

The rest of the stuff is fluff. Looks go fast. Intruding mother-in-laws move to Florida. The future is always a gamble. Passion is nice but fleeting. Listen to yourself. If you are not feeling loved, respected, cared for and trusted then don't do it. If you are trying to convince yourself that this is the one then it's not. It's like trying to make the wrong size shoe fit because you need it for a certain dress. It's going to pinch and you are going to be miserable. The less fancy one may not be as pretty but it will be a lot more comfortable. Get down to the basics.