Will the Gay Community Please Get Over Itself Already???

Those who read my work know that I am an openly gay man and fiercely proud of it. Those who read my work know that I not only advocate equal rights but have fought for that for many years now. So when things like the beatdown the Gay Community received on Election Day happen, like many others, and certainly the Gay Community as a whole, I get angry. I want to scream, I want to go to each person who voted against us and ask them "what the hell is wrong with you, can't you see we just want equality and no special treatment?" To the others who lied about us and our supposed "hidden agenda" I'd like to shake them and make them retract each lie they spewed.

To The Gay Community, I just want to shout at the top of my lungs "GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY!"

I've read articles and received emails about Rick Warren delivering the invocation at the Inauguration and of course both sides are spinning out of control. Some are saying this raises him to the level of Billy Graham and makes him one of the preeminent spiritual leaders of this country. And of course The Gay Community is up in arms saying that this is a slap in our face especially given his support of Proposition 8.

Personally, I'm more upset that there's a spiritual "invocation" at a government event, period. But I guess that's another story for another time.

Proposition 8 as well as Amendment 2 in Florida and the initiatives in Arkansas and Arizona were pretty much doomed from the minute we went on defense and abandoned our offense, period. We were so busy trying to tell parents we're not going to teach homosexuality in school or trying to get heterosexuals to rally to our cause by telling them that they can lose their rights too that we lost sight of what this is all about, discrimination.

Let's be clear, marriage is not a right. It is, however, an institution that every other part of society can partake of and that's where the discrimination comes in. We, The Gay Community, pay our taxes, we observe the same laws. Why can we not get married?

And before anyone starts on the civil union argument, consider this, the best laid out civil union only provides 85% of the access that marriage does. Separate but equal doesn't work. Never has, never will.

Others have argued that this is just semantics. That may be true for many people, but then let's consider this, if it is semantics, then why not let us get married? What is there about same sex marriage that threatens your own marriage, present or future?

I digress, as I said, the initiatives were doomed. And yes, I know there are going to be those who will say I'm a hater of my own community and that I have no idea what I'm talking about. To those people all I can do is say that unless you know who I am or what I'm about, shut up and listen with something other than a mind that allows only cute little sound bytes and maybe you might learn something.

Okay so we lost. Devastating to be sure but it's not the end of the world. First of all, we should have been prepared for this to happen and had a plan b, otherwise known as a plan of protest.

The first protest observed at the same day across the country was effective to the point where we were all on the same page and there was good media coverage. It was then followed up with a mediocre "day without a gay" plan that, much to the dismay of those who'd like to spin it otherwise, was a bomb. Previous media coverage was positive. Coverage of the "day without" protest was mixed and even at times negative especially when it pointed out that some of our own community had no idea what was going on.

Now we're getting pissed off that this Warren character is doing the invocation and that it's a slap in our face. Does it really matter that much? I'm not saying that it isn't disappointing but first off, Obama never came out and said he was our greatest supporter, though he is our best chance presently. Secondly, it's just an invocation or prayer. It's not as if he's being given a cabinet position.

Maybe we need to step back and stop jumping on every little thing simply because we dropped the ball back in November and regroup and focus on what we can do to affect true change. Writing letters to the President Elect and thumping our chests in righteous indignation isn't going to do it.

Let's just admit our defeat and focus on the future. This guy, Warren, is nothing more than a speed bump. Let's just get over it, and ourselves, and move on already.