Will You Please Be My Mentor?

Will you please be my mentor? I don't ask for much and I promise not to be a pain in your ass. Oh; please, please, please? You know I worship the ground you walk on. And, I promise not to step on your last nerve. Isn't that special?

Mentor

If you're lucky enough to be my mentor, I will fill your world with joy. I promise to call you every day and talk about meaningful things. Our conversations could go on for hours and be a source of divine inspiration, for you and for me. Isn't that special?

Sunshine

I could bring the sunshine into your life and pull you out of your doldrums. Isn't that special?

Ass

You can pull the stick out of my ass that's been stuck up there for days. Isn't that special?

Plagiarism

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine; woops. I better watch it, I don't want to steal somebody else's material and get accused of plagiarism. My world would come to an end; and, that wouldn't be so special. Would it?

Knowledge And Expertise

In my quest to be special, I seek your knowledge and expertise. What does it take to be special?

For The Love Of God

Will you please be my mentor? For the love of God and all that is holly on God's green Earth, I just want to be special. Please, help me be special. BE MY MENTOR! Is that too much to ask?

Note

Note to self: Previous mentors have gone through intense psychological screening and have not made it through the first round. Most, either drop out and run for the hills, or they have their head stuck so far up their ass that they can't see the light of day. This can lead to problems down the line. Use discretion, whenever necessary.

I Want To Be Special

Due to the intense nature of my world, I strongly advise that you seek counseling before becoming my mentor. Now, I know that's special. Be my mentor, because I want to be special too. Isn't that special?

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