Will You Please Stroke My Ego?

For the love of God and all that's holy on God's green Earth, will you please stroke my ego? I'll get down on my hands and knees and beg if I have to. Do I have to beg?

My ego is a delicate piece of me that needs to be handled with care. If you stroke my ego, then I'll stroke your ego. It's a give and take situation. You must give in order to receive. I'm not saying that I'm just a piece of meat. What I am saying is that my ego is an important part of my personality. Without it, I'm just full of hot air.

Please, please, please be supportive of my ego. It's a delicate piece of machinery that needs to be greased and stroked daily; preferably, as many times a day as humanly possible. Thank you so much for your support.

If you stroke my ego, you might find that your karma has instantly improved. No longer will you have to wait in those long lines at the grocery store. Heck, when the people in the store see you coming, they'll open a new line just for you. Is that special, or what? You do want to be special, don't you?

You can start stroking my ego right now! This is the perfect opportunity to tell me how great I am. I know you really want to do it. Go ahead and shout it out to the world! Woohoo!

Thank you for taking the time and putting forth the effort to stroke my ego. Your karma has grown by leaps and bounds. You are now on the fast track to success. May all your dreams come true!

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