Will Protein Shakes Get You Girls?

Let's face it guys, everything we do is to get girls. It's not our fault it's the way nature made us. Men are geared to initiate procreation. It all goes back to prehistoric times when man was a primitive cave dweller. Men would lift heavy objects to show the women that they were a good mate who could offer protection.

Nowadays you have these darn rules of civilization where it is frowned upon to go around lifting heavy things over your head. This creates a dilemma. How are you supposed to show the women how strong you are so they know that you can protect them? You can't go around beating people up, for some reason society doesn't like that. All you can really do is look like you can lift heavy things, so we embrace that option and workout to build our muscles as big as we can. We really get into it, becoming students and reading how our muscles work and what makes them grow. Finally, we find our answer; Protein, muscles are made of protein, and muscles need protein to grow. Into the car and to the store at once!

You load up on meat and plan your meals to eat as much protein as you can while discarding all other things that are not protein. Sounds like a plan until you start getting fat. Girls like lean muscle. You need lean muscle. You need to find a source of protein that is lower in calories. Tuna! Wait, if you eat tuna, you can't mix it with mayonnaise. Luckily, science was hip to this dilemma and created protein shakes, full glasses of protein with as little of anything else as possible. Now you go to the gym to lift heavy things to make your muscles big. Hopefully there will be some girls there to see you lifting heavy things. The combination of heavy lifting and drinking protein shakes is sure to make your muscles big for the girls that are not at the gym to witness your heavy lifts.

Your muscles become nice and big and you are all ready for the stampede of women. It's working, the women are looking. For some reason your stomach is balling up and it's not because of nerves, but who cares. You go to talk to a girl that's been looking at you since you've arrived. She definitely can't stop thinking about all the heavy things you can lift. You smile and say hi, she does the same. You start talking, everything goes well but then you feel it. You try leaning back against something so you can stand while crossing your legs. Your try not to look awkward but between keeping a straight face and holding it in you are lost in the conversation and don't know what to say. She starts to get bored and is losing interest. You can't relax and you have no hope of conjuring up any interesting conversation. All you need is one solitary moment of sweet relief. You pretend to get a call and tell her to excuse you and that you'll be right back. You make sure to choose a spot that isn't downwind from her. Then you let it out. You scare the birds off and a couple of people look around for a tuba player but besides that, no one's the wiser. You go back to continue the conversation and the first thing out of her mouth is what's that smell. Now you tell me, does consuming protein shakes get you girls?

Source: Personal Experience as a Personal Trainer and Fitness Expert